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for Lucky Number 27

8/3/2007 c1 Kindre Turnany
I think you need to decide what you're doing with the rhyming. For something like this I'd suggest not rhyming anything for most of it and then ending in a rhyming couplet or something... w/e.

Poetry uses punctuation, even on the end of a line.

I think "anymore" should be two words, but you might want to check instead of taking my word for it.

Using more creative verbs and imagery would really help this piece a lot.

And you could just use the first line as the summary. I generally do; or the first stanza... though you don't have those.

I liked the last line a lot, and that you waited until then to explain the title.

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