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9/22/2011 c1 cressey
I'm not sure about this. I got lost, which is unusual for me with such a short piece.

"the enemy we might get attached to our hip will never be as bad as the enemy that is us" is this meant to mean that we are our own worst enemies, or that your character worst enemy is her relationship? Or something completely different.

Then there's the part about the bruises, which made me think 'abusive relationship,' but there's the kisses to the shoulders and then the "You're all i want to touch," and this is where i got lost. Is it an abusive dependant relationship? Is your character so lost in her relationship that she cant see its not right? Or does that then make me one of the people that shouldnt have an opinion on things they dont understand?

Its a complex piece, and obviously thought provoking, so well done on that front... but its made my head hurt.

thanks for sharing

x em
6/10/2009 c1 51for shame
this is a very nice piece of prose.

i love "...i've never kissed my sister below the belt" - and everything preceding it. very humorous, in a dry way.

well-written, with a clean finish. good job.
8/26/2007 c1 pipilo
powerful

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