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for The Purgatory Gods

4/5/2008 c1 2Bunburyodo
This is definitely an awesome story. Awesome posthumans and story premise, and Joao was cool.
9/15/2007 c1 dreamshell
Another great story, Colin. Posthumanism is such a fun topic to toy around with and you did an excellent job. One especially enjoyable element is the idea that, despite how far we may come as a species, the simplest things like unrequited love will still crush us in just the same way. Just... when you're on the same level as a deity, things tend to get messier. :D

I think that idea is presented so perfectly in this. Joao can do pretty much anything and yet none of that matters in the end because the girl he wants doesn't want him back. It's depressing on a cosmic level.

I myself don't have much concrit to give; I rather liked how it came out. The fact that everything outside of Joao and his obsession with Sarra is ignored (the celebration, Joao's motivations, the past, etc.) works. Because, really, all that would fade into the background for him, so it just reestablishes the obsession.

Anyway, fun read.

9/7/2007 c1 Will oooooo
I think the 750,0's birthday of Homo sapien sapien needs more fanfare. Emphasis on the crowds that have gathered to venerate themselves and the post-humans Joao and Zimi; this would give the reader a clearer picture of how powerful these entities are.

The idea of humans elevating themselves in the image of mythological gods is definitely an old one, but there's always room for innovation, and I think your story accomplishes that.

After all, the idea of 'world-building' fascinates most humans throughout time, whether children constructing reality for dolls, chiefs founding cities, or some guy playing SimCity, you've hit on a rich vein here to be sure.

I liked the 'twist', but you might want to be clearer on why Joao is such a Godly loser. Why hasn't he ascended past m-class? Why does his mind fight itself over Sarra?

Perhaps more character building would fine-tune the story.

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