for Heartless5/24/2010 c5 K. Weaver
All I have to say is, PLEASSEE Write more. I seriously need to know what's going on. I've been waiting for like two years.
All I have to say is, PLEASSEE Write more. I seriously need to know what's going on. I've been waiting for like two years.
12/23/2009 c5 Canaletto
I don’t know quite what to make of this. You’re writing is excellent, and this has to be one of the most original ideas for a story I’ve ever seen. Chapter five’s changes in narration seemed a bit strange given that until that point Clara was the sole narrator, but it still works fine. Mostly this is a very touching story, and I hope you will continue to work on it even if you haven’t updated for a few months. I will definitely keep an eye on this one.
Canaletto
I don’t know quite what to make of this. You’re writing is excellent, and this has to be one of the most original ideas for a story I’ve ever seen. Chapter five’s changes in narration seemed a bit strange given that until that point Clara was the sole narrator, but it still works fine. Mostly this is a very touching story, and I hope you will continue to work on it even if you haven’t updated for a few months. I will definitely keep an eye on this one.
Canaletto
12/25/2008 c5 
6Indie Tangles
Wow. This story is really unique, but it seems you haven't updated in a while. :( Just thought I'd let you know that I enjoyed what's posted. :]
6Indie TanglesWow. This story is really unique, but it seems you haven't updated in a while. :( Just thought I'd let you know that I enjoyed what's posted. :]
7/23/2008 c5 1N.E. Olson
I like that this chapter gives some background about the family. It's interesting that the doctor is the mother's former suitor. As always, your writing is beautiful and smooth.
1N.E. OlsonI like that this chapter gives some background about the family. It's interesting that the doctor is the mother's former suitor. As always, your writing is beautiful and smooth.
6/27/2008 c5 9Alteng
I have been tied up with several things over the last few months and work is a main one of those.
Anyway, I am back in action for a short time. I am one of those that don't care much for the changing of the person speaking in the same chapter, and the beginning bit seems like something that should be an aside before the chapter actually begins.
The descriptive ability in the second half came off well. I can't save that I agree with Clara not understanding the Doctor's affection for her mother. After all he is the one that holds her life in his hands, but this could well say much about Clara's character.
The last line is moving as well and peaks the curiosity.
9AltengI have been tied up with several things over the last few months and work is a main one of those.
Anyway, I am back in action for a short time. I am one of those that don't care much for the changing of the person speaking in the same chapter, and the beginning bit seems like something that should be an aside before the chapter actually begins.
The descriptive ability in the second half came off well. I can't save that I agree with Clara not understanding the Doctor's affection for her mother. After all he is the one that holds her life in his hands, but this could well say much about Clara's character.
The last line is moving as well and peaks the curiosity.
4/2/2008 c5 3Purple Summer
I'm so glad you've posted some more of your story. I've been waiting a while! Thanks for writing some more.
I really enjoy this story. I think you should write a whole book for it and publish it; I know i would buy it. It's a really good story and very well written and something i really love to read!
This adition was just as good. I liked the little flashback at the start. The only thing that bothered me was that you said "and that it was Wint Normand who diagnosed me: slight cough, heartless." but earlier in the story you said "Slight cough, alive."
Just thought it would be worthit to point out.
Anyway, keep up the good work! I always enjoy reading your stories so keep writing!
Feel free to review mine, but you don't have to.
Thanks!
3Purple SummerI'm so glad you've posted some more of your story. I've been waiting a while! Thanks for writing some more.
I really enjoy this story. I think you should write a whole book for it and publish it; I know i would buy it. It's a really good story and very well written and something i really love to read!
This adition was just as good. I liked the little flashback at the start. The only thing that bothered me was that you said "and that it was Wint Normand who diagnosed me: slight cough, heartless." but earlier in the story you said "Slight cough, alive."
Just thought it would be worthit to point out.
Anyway, keep up the good work! I always enjoy reading your stories so keep writing!
Feel free to review mine, but you don't have to.
Thanks!
3/19/2008 c3 20Twilight Starr
She doesn't have much luck with grandmothers. Nice work.
~Twilight Starr~
20Twilight StarrShe doesn't have much luck with grandmothers. Nice work.
~Twilight Starr~
3/19/2008 c2 Twilight Starr
Nice addition. I want to know the answer to her question, too. ;) Good job!
~Twilight Starr~
Nice addition. I want to know the answer to her question, too. ;) Good job!
~Twilight Starr~
3/19/2008 c1 Twilight Starr
Interesting beginning. The summary was definitely unique. The lacking of a heartbeat made me think of vampires. Nice work.
Good luck with writing, this story, and life.
Have an excellent day.
~Twilight Starr~
Interesting beginning. The summary was definitely unique. The lacking of a heartbeat made me think of vampires. Nice work.
Good luck with writing, this story, and life.
Have an excellent day.
~Twilight Starr~
3/19/2008 c5 Fractured Illusion
Hi, it's me! Booyah!
"and Wint, helpless did."
helplessly, you mean?
Or "and Wint, helpless, did"?
"But I find it strange, I continue"
I think it's be a bit smoother if you said "and I continue"
Anyhow, for a filler chapter it was pretty nice. At first I was like "Huh? Who is Missy?" but then you cleared it up being her mother. And aw, that's how she met the Father :) Sweet. Poor Wint though. Will he have any importance later on?
I hope you write more! Keep it up!
- Frac
Hi, it's me! Booyah!
"and Wint, helpless did."
helplessly, you mean?
Or "and Wint, helpless, did"?
"But I find it strange, I continue"
I think it's be a bit smoother if you said "and I continue"
Anyhow, for a filler chapter it was pretty nice. At first I was like "Huh? Who is Missy?" but then you cleared it up being her mother. And aw, that's how she met the Father :) Sweet. Poor Wint though. Will he have any importance later on?
I hope you write more! Keep it up!
- Frac
3/12/2008 c5 2darkphoenix1836
Your story is great so far! This is very creative and I can't wait to read more!
2darkphoenix1836Your story is great so far! This is very creative and I can't wait to read more!
2/7/2008 c4 3Purple Summer
I just finished the last two chapters and im really enjoying this story. I am a bit curious as to what side effects she has because of her lack of a heart. I understand the no heartbeat thing, but are you including the emotions of the heart as well? i guess i'll have to wait and see! It might be just me, but i was a bit confused with some of your punctuation. You use alot of semi-colens and brackets within brackets which can be confusing. you might want to find away to break those up into some more understandable paragraphs.
Love the work! Can't wait to read more!
Love to hear what you think of my stories if you get a chance to read them!
3Purple SummerI just finished the last two chapters and im really enjoying this story. I am a bit curious as to what side effects she has because of her lack of a heart. I understand the no heartbeat thing, but are you including the emotions of the heart as well? i guess i'll have to wait and see! It might be just me, but i was a bit confused with some of your punctuation. You use alot of semi-colens and brackets within brackets which can be confusing. you might want to find away to break those up into some more understandable paragraphs.
Love the work! Can't wait to read more!
Love to hear what you think of my stories if you get a chance to read them!
2/7/2008 c2 Purple Summer
I've read up to chapter two and so far i'm really enjoying it. Im definatly going to print it out and read the rest tonight, when i have time. I like the concept, and the writing style. I felt like the era would be late 1800's early 1900's sort of time, is that right? I'm going to keep reading so i hope you keep writing!
I've read up to chapter two and so far i'm really enjoying it. Im definatly going to print it out and read the rest tonight, when i have time. I like the concept, and the writing style. I felt like the era would be late 1800's early 1900's sort of time, is that right? I'm going to keep reading so i hope you keep writing!
10/1/2007 c1 17Luny Loona
I like the idea of the heartless girl. I especially liked the first paragraph. But anyway, not much more to comment on.
17Luny LoonaI like the idea of the heartless girl. I especially liked the first paragraph. But anyway, not much more to comment on.