
8/15/2012 c1
3Ciousk
Ahhhh! WOW! This is amazing! I realllly like the graveyard bit, it was my favourite part! :D You are an brilliant author! I also loved the part where he fell into the dog cage!
TP

Ahhhh! WOW! This is amazing! I realllly like the graveyard bit, it was my favourite part! :D You are an brilliant author! I also loved the part where he fell into the dog cage!
TP
3/20/2012 c1
3Ax20414
...whoa. Intense stuff! Very well written, too. I think I'm gonna look for more of these short one-shot horror-fests - let's hope they're all this good. Haha

...whoa. Intense stuff! Very well written, too. I think I'm gonna look for more of these short one-shot horror-fests - let's hope they're all this good. Haha
3/25/2008 c1
11Distilledfx
Wow, another well written piece.
You developed the character of Colloway so well, and you seemed to know even more about him than you told through the story. The dialog again was fantastic and came naturally in the story. At the end you built the tension very well (something I don't really do at all) and didn't disappoint when it had peaked.
As soon as he hears about the kid in the red hood over the police intercom, I knew he was going to John was going to die. He dismissed it himself, and you distracted me with his conversation with Dahlia. When he saw the flickering light though, I knew it was curtains.
Your descriptions, while great, weren't so powerful for the creature itself. By the time you had gotten to the demon thing, I had already pictured it, and it was different to what you showed which was more like a zombie to me. Still, the image of him eating the dog was something special.
Awesome writing, I hope to increase the clarity in my stories so that they are as fun to read as this.

Wow, another well written piece.
You developed the character of Colloway so well, and you seemed to know even more about him than you told through the story. The dialog again was fantastic and came naturally in the story. At the end you built the tension very well (something I don't really do at all) and didn't disappoint when it had peaked.
As soon as he hears about the kid in the red hood over the police intercom, I knew he was going to John was going to die. He dismissed it himself, and you distracted me with his conversation with Dahlia. When he saw the flickering light though, I knew it was curtains.
Your descriptions, while great, weren't so powerful for the creature itself. By the time you had gotten to the demon thing, I had already pictured it, and it was different to what you showed which was more like a zombie to me. Still, the image of him eating the dog was something special.
Awesome writing, I hope to increase the clarity in my stories so that they are as fun to read as this.
11/22/2007 c1 rachel
okay, i couldnt remember the name of the story you told me to read but so far i have read this one and stretch.
okay, i couldnt remember the name of the story you told me to read but so far i have read this one and stretch.
10/6/2007 c1 Windows
nice dude
where my chapter 2
now
screw arsenic kisses
now
chapter 2 lol
oh and I saw equilibrium
nice dude
where my chapter 2
now
screw arsenic kisses
now
chapter 2 lol
oh and I saw equilibrium
9/11/2007 c1 neo anderson
Hate to disappoint you but no revolting/sickening comments here. Not from me anyways. I do, however love the detail you put in to this. Me being unable to properly visualize the world of the sighted for well over 10 years now, I must say you do paint quite graphic and quite interesting pictures with your stories. Some may call it graphic, gory, revolting… the list goes on… but in actuality I consider you one of the few authors on here that I enjoy to read. Specially late at night, … the lights turned off… (not that it matters to me, mainly to creep out my wife) with headphones on, preferably with something buy jerry gold-smith or Danny Elfman in the back ground. I have reviewed stories on here before, however I usually weight till the story is complete before doing so. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I have did so here mainly because you do not beg for reviews like most, usually while they are writing there stories. You simply request them. I can’t weight to see what happens next with “arsenic kisses” and this one as well. Keep up the good work, scare them till they defecate in there pants. I shall be reading, and maybe I should reiterate once more. I shall be enjoying myself, vary much so.
Hate to disappoint you but no revolting/sickening comments here. Not from me anyways. I do, however love the detail you put in to this. Me being unable to properly visualize the world of the sighted for well over 10 years now, I must say you do paint quite graphic and quite interesting pictures with your stories. Some may call it graphic, gory, revolting… the list goes on… but in actuality I consider you one of the few authors on here that I enjoy to read. Specially late at night, … the lights turned off… (not that it matters to me, mainly to creep out my wife) with headphones on, preferably with something buy jerry gold-smith or Danny Elfman in the back ground. I have reviewed stories on here before, however I usually weight till the story is complete before doing so. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I have did so here mainly because you do not beg for reviews like most, usually while they are writing there stories. You simply request them. I can’t weight to see what happens next with “arsenic kisses” and this one as well. Keep up the good work, scare them till they defecate in there pants. I shall be reading, and maybe I should reiterate once more. I shall be enjoying myself, vary much so.
9/9/2007 c1 arkseeker
... o. me likes. i especially like how calloways name shortened is my name so heres a bunny.
()_()
(='.'=)
(")_(")
... o. me likes. i especially like how calloways name shortened is my name so heres a bunny.
()_()
(='.'=)
(")_(")
9/1/2007 c1 Steven
Epic Rad!
Epic Rad!
8/28/2007 c1 LDNLad
I don't often read other people's stuff 'cause I ain't got the time, but this one got me hooked. I really like the premise (?) of the story, and the description was wicked!
Is there more? Please tell me there's more - I'd definitely remain tuned.
I don't often read other people's stuff 'cause I ain't got the time, but this one got me hooked. I really like the premise (?) of the story, and the description was wicked!
Is there more? Please tell me there's more - I'd definitely remain tuned.