8/30/2007 c1 1lieutenant razor
Very nice! I really liked it, especially how that last line was in italics. I dunno, it made it stand out and seem more powerful.

I also thought it was cool how you used the image honey to describe her voice twice, and used food [sweet as cinnamon, laugh like vanilla] to talk about the subject, which made me think about eating, and how vampires eat [well, drink really but for the purpose of the point I'm trying to make it's eat] people, and I dunno, I thought that really strenghtened your whole poem.

Keep up the good work : D