for Hierophant11/24/2008 c1 
1Alain Young
The first chapter is a great beginning to a hopefully good story, It makes me want to read the next few chapters just to know whats coming next. I can't really think of anything that you could do to make it better.
1Alain YoungThe first chapter is a great beginning to a hopefully good story, It makes me want to read the next few chapters just to know whats coming next. I can't really think of anything that you could do to make it better.
10/31/2007 c4 Removed01
And now I see where it's going! It's all very interesting, fantasy with a smidge of supernatural and suspense! The suspense part doesn't thrill me though, but since it's not major and facing it, all fiction have suspense because the stories don't come finished like a book but in pieces, is that I think I can deal with it.
The first chapter originally had me all wot? Wot's going on? But now I understand better, and me likes! It's intriging, and also I like fantasy stuff (already been covered, but what the fuck ever).
My first impression of Alice is that she's irritating, but that isn't bad (at all), because that's her quirk. I'm liking the blondie so far! I'm looking forward to finding out what his role is, more than Alice's. Usually I like better the male characters, anyways XD
There are some mistakes here and there, for example at the beginning of chapter four where Daniel thought Tomorrow would be a better day, I think Tomorrow will be a better day would fit better, taking into account that the phrase was already marked as his thought.
Anyways, me likes! Update as soon as you can (and don't give it up... and if you have time inform me on updates, I suck at keeping on track).
Best Wishes from AG
And now I see where it's going! It's all very interesting, fantasy with a smidge of supernatural and suspense! The suspense part doesn't thrill me though, but since it's not major and facing it, all fiction have suspense because the stories don't come finished like a book but in pieces, is that I think I can deal with it.
The first chapter originally had me all wot? Wot's going on? But now I understand better, and me likes! It's intriging, and also I like fantasy stuff (already been covered, but what the fuck ever).
My first impression of Alice is that she's irritating, but that isn't bad (at all), because that's her quirk. I'm liking the blondie so far! I'm looking forward to finding out what his role is, more than Alice's. Usually I like better the male characters, anyways XD
There are some mistakes here and there, for example at the beginning of chapter four where Daniel thought Tomorrow would be a better day, I think Tomorrow will be a better day would fit better, taking into account that the phrase was already marked as his thought.
Anyways, me likes! Update as soon as you can (and don't give it up... and if you have time inform me on updates, I suck at keeping on track).
Best Wishes from AG