for Trouble Starts With a Q9/3/2007 c1 
6mlovektowsing
I'm very excited to get back into this story! The new version already looks improved. And don't worry, long is not a problem for me. Update soon!
MK
6mlovektowsingI'm very excited to get back into this story! The new version already looks improved. And don't worry, long is not a problem for me. Update soon!
MK
9/3/2007 c1 Secret Heart01
I like this version! The first half of the chapter doesn't seem very altered from the original one (other than the appearance of Devon). I would like to say that Abdullah is a little bit *too* much over-the-top as a character, but unfortunately, I know someone exactly like him.
Otherwise, I'm eagerly awaiting for the "heart of the story" !
Next chapter please :)
I like this version! The first half of the chapter doesn't seem very altered from the original one (other than the appearance of Devon). I would like to say that Abdullah is a little bit *too* much over-the-top as a character, but unfortunately, I know someone exactly like him.
Otherwise, I'm eagerly awaiting for the "heart of the story" !
Next chapter please :)
9/3/2007 c1 bananasplit
Yay it's back! Good chapter! : )
Yay it's back! Good chapter! : )
9/3/2007 c1 kawaiikonnichiwa
I love it! I've noticed that not many writers focus on the minorities in stories, so being one myself, that really appealed to me. The Devon-Deborah idea also struck my fancy. I personally would have never thought of having a girl prefer a boy's name without the crossdressing, so that was intreguing. Unfortunetly, I wasn't able to read the first version, but I'm really enjoying this one!
I love it! I've noticed that not many writers focus on the minorities in stories, so being one myself, that really appealed to me. The Devon-Deborah idea also struck my fancy. I personally would have never thought of having a girl prefer a boy's name without the crossdressing, so that was intreguing. Unfortunetly, I wasn't able to read the first version, but I'm really enjoying this one!
9/3/2007 c1 LazyDaze06
I like this version of the story and i liked the last. I am just wondering why you scrapped the last TSWaQ and wrote this one?
I like this version of the story and i liked the last. I am just wondering why you scrapped the last TSWaQ and wrote this one?
9/3/2007 c1 ess3sandra
hello hun, great to ahve you back. i must say, fictionpress isnt the same without you. i hope you are well and that you are content with the new but in the same time old story you posted, i must say that i am! much love /sandra
hello hun, great to ahve you back. i must say, fictionpress isnt the same without you. i hope you are well and that you are content with the new but in the same time old story you posted, i must say that i am! much love /sandra
9/3/2007 c1 15lilitaliandragon
Still love the story and your changes, but personally I don't really like the name Devon for her...it really confused me that she had a different name when everyone else basically stayed the same.
15lilitaliandragonStill love the story and your changes, but personally I don't really like the name Devon for her...it really confused me that she had a different name when everyone else basically stayed the same.
9/3/2007 c1 bluz
Yeah, long stories, I love them. lol. Welcome back, I guess you found what you were looking for and you placed it into this chapter. Anyways, loved it, and I needed a laugh so thank you.
Yeah, long stories, I love them. lol. Welcome back, I guess you found what you were looking for and you placed it into this chapter. Anyways, loved it, and I needed a laugh so thank you.
9/3/2007 c1 Scribblesandink
Wow, Devon? That's an interesting choice for her. I think I can kinda see where her character is going, but I'll wait until I see a few more chapters. I can see the material you kept from the first one, and I can definitely tell what all the new stuff is. The photo class is going to be interesting. I half expected the entire school's female population to know Q's schedule, and that there would be Amoeba's saving him seats in that class, lol.
The only thing I would suggest you possibly rework, and it's an incredibly minor thing, is this:
Even as she said it, she knew she was being unnecessarily bitchy. Quentin was just being Quentin, but the thought of working with him in such close quarters for an entire semester (plus, being leered at) didn't sit too well with her. And besides, it didn't help that he really did remind her of Jimmy.
I think this can be made into one sentence, to read something like this: "Even as she said it, she knew she was being unnecessarily bitchy. Quentin was just being Quentin, but the thought of being leered at for an entire semester by someone who reminded her of Jimmy didn't sit too well with her."
Again, there's nothing really wrong with how you wrote it originally; I'm just always trying to condense everything into super concise. I was originally going to point out that there was unnecessary information about Jimmy but then I read through those bits again (from the beginning of the photo class when Devon first realizes the likeness between Q and J) and I realized every single big of that pointed out how similar Q and J are to each other. So yeah, that's it. Nicely done, and I'm curious to see where this goes with out the bets and dating games. I see that you've changed the description of the profile to read that she blackmails Q, and I'm really curious as to what she could find to blackmail him with!
Wow, Devon? That's an interesting choice for her. I think I can kinda see where her character is going, but I'll wait until I see a few more chapters. I can see the material you kept from the first one, and I can definitely tell what all the new stuff is. The photo class is going to be interesting. I half expected the entire school's female population to know Q's schedule, and that there would be Amoeba's saving him seats in that class, lol.
The only thing I would suggest you possibly rework, and it's an incredibly minor thing, is this:
Even as she said it, she knew she was being unnecessarily bitchy. Quentin was just being Quentin, but the thought of working with him in such close quarters for an entire semester (plus, being leered at) didn't sit too well with her. And besides, it didn't help that he really did remind her of Jimmy.
I think this can be made into one sentence, to read something like this: "Even as she said it, she knew she was being unnecessarily bitchy. Quentin was just being Quentin, but the thought of being leered at for an entire semester by someone who reminded her of Jimmy didn't sit too well with her."
Again, there's nothing really wrong with how you wrote it originally; I'm just always trying to condense everything into super concise. I was originally going to point out that there was unnecessary information about Jimmy but then I read through those bits again (from the beginning of the photo class when Devon first realizes the likeness between Q and J) and I realized every single big of that pointed out how similar Q and J are to each other. So yeah, that's it. Nicely done, and I'm curious to see where this goes with out the bets and dating games. I see that you've changed the description of the profile to read that she blackmails Q, and I'm really curious as to what she could find to blackmail him with!
9/3/2007 c1 This Account is Abandoned
m. I'm sad that her name's no longer Audrey...
but, I like your new version a lot. :]
m. I'm sad that her name's no longer Audrey...
but, I like your new version a lot. :]
9/3/2007 c1 1Icyglaze
Ah, this version seems much better already! :) Glad you decided not to add in the dating bets/contest. I love Quentin's character so much and felt so bad for him in R&R... :( Well, hope you'll update soon! :)
1IcyglazeAh, this version seems much better already! :) Glad you decided not to add in the dating bets/contest. I love Quentin's character so much and felt so bad for him in R&R... :( Well, hope you'll update soon! :)
9/3/2007 c1 3Antiquary
Man, I have been waiting for this story for SO LONG! And I love it :) Quentin was always one of my favorites back when I was a lurker for Redux (sorry about that) so I love seeing him again.
My only thought was that Abdullah and Devon have a bit more personality than Sam seems to, but it's also the first chapter so I figure that's going to change.
Hope you update soon!
3AntiquaryMan, I have been waiting for this story for SO LONG! And I love it :) Quentin was always one of my favorites back when I was a lurker for Redux (sorry about that) so I love seeing him again.
My only thought was that Abdullah and Devon have a bit more personality than Sam seems to, but it's also the first chapter so I figure that's going to change.
Hope you update soon!
9/3/2007 c1 1goodbyemylover
i like the new version, even though i really liked the other one too. somehow the whole bet thing in the old one seemed different from the overused storyline everyone else seems to be using.
but i can't wait until the next chapter!
1goodbyemyloveri like the new version, even though i really liked the other one too. somehow the whole bet thing in the old one seemed different from the overused storyline everyone else seems to be using.
but i can't wait until the next chapter!
9/3/2007 c1 3Katie Valentine
OMG OMG QUENTIN IS BACK! omg i missed him myrika! oh and im still imagining the korean female lead as the female lead from the korean drama full house. LOL. gossh. this was great! i like this revised version. can't wait! XD
3Katie ValentineOMG OMG QUENTIN IS BACK! omg i missed him myrika! oh and im still imagining the korean female lead as the female lead from the korean drama full house. LOL. gossh. this was great! i like this revised version. can't wait! XD
9/3/2007 c1 2simplicity is complex
whoo. i like this one better. heh devon's much more sarcastic, i feel. and quentin's just as lovably annoying.
2simplicity is complexwhoo. i like this one better. heh devon's much more sarcastic, i feel. and quentin's just as lovably annoying.