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for Whoever and Wherever You Are

6/17/2008 c1 56Luna Turner
I love the title and the idea. Although it seems cliche, it isn't.

The rhythm was a little wacky and there were a couple typos-

"I'll wait for you across this years"

should be

"I'll wait for you across these years"

also-

"But he glanced at me and then let me go"

This was one of my favorite lines, but if you make a small change, it'll sound a lot better.

"But he glanced at me and then let go"

It has more rhythm to it, and it sounds better.

For no one having ever taught you grammar before, your writing is astounding. You only had one typo and I've seen people who are completely literate with english and it looks like they're in second grade. Kudos for that!

Overall- very good poem. You have talent, use it well.

~Luna Turner

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