for Clean as You Go10/7/2007 c1 
24ilovetheopera
wow. lotsa angst in this one, eh. well, you gotta just move on, yeah? and put your stock in the things that make you happy. i can sort of relate because while my mom has a hard life, she sometimes is really mean to me when i think i don't deserve it.
anyway, the poem's a bit too long. i like the "clean as you go" mantra that repeats itself, tying in with the various bits of lousy parenting you describe. and the transition of the main persona's (maybe you, maybe not) emotions and reactions to the parent is quite interesting. other than that, the writing's a bit disjointed, affecting the clarity and impact of the poem and its message.
24ilovetheoperawow. lotsa angst in this one, eh. well, you gotta just move on, yeah? and put your stock in the things that make you happy. i can sort of relate because while my mom has a hard life, she sometimes is really mean to me when i think i don't deserve it.
anyway, the poem's a bit too long. i like the "clean as you go" mantra that repeats itself, tying in with the various bits of lousy parenting you describe. and the transition of the main persona's (maybe you, maybe not) emotions and reactions to the parent is quite interesting. other than that, the writing's a bit disjointed, affecting the clarity and impact of the poem and its message.