for Fireflies10/8/2007 c1 
28Erisah Mae
Poignant and bittersweet- this story is about life. The image of the main character about to die through suicide, yet all he can think of is his life- the beautiful memories that make up any person's tapestry of experience.
The input from the son at the end was a good note to end on, although it left questions unanswered- why was this expected?
The positive enigma is a great ending.
Nice.
Erisah
28Erisah MaePoignant and bittersweet- this story is about life. The image of the main character about to die through suicide, yet all he can think of is his life- the beautiful memories that make up any person's tapestry of experience.
The input from the son at the end was a good note to end on, although it left questions unanswered- why was this expected?
The positive enigma is a great ending.
Nice.
Erisah
9/20/2007 c1 criti-sized
This is a very nice and compelling chapter. I'm not sure if it's a one-shot, or has a few more chapters to come, but by the way it ended it sounded like a one-shot.
Instantly at the beginning I was pulled in by the older man's narration, then when he started to describe his wife and how they'd met, I liked it more.
There are the parts where your dialogue should be double spaced and isn't, but the story other than that is great.
C.S.
This is a very nice and compelling chapter. I'm not sure if it's a one-shot, or has a few more chapters to come, but by the way it ended it sounded like a one-shot.
Instantly at the beginning I was pulled in by the older man's narration, then when he started to describe his wife and how they'd met, I liked it more.
There are the parts where your dialogue should be double spaced and isn't, but the story other than that is great.
C.S.
9/19/2007 c1 20Twilight Starr
The poor grieving elderly man. He reminds me of my grandma after she lost her husband of FIFTY-TWO years to pancretic cancer.
I'm interested in seeing more.
Good luck with writing and this story.
~Twilight Starr~
20Twilight StarrThe poor grieving elderly man. He reminds me of my grandma after she lost her husband of FIFTY-TWO years to pancretic cancer.
I'm interested in seeing more.
Good luck with writing and this story.
~Twilight Starr~
9/19/2007 c1 31Nick Makon
I wasnt expecting that at the end. I should have been i suppose but didnt. This is very well written, i could see what you were talking about as i read. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
~Write On~
31Nick MakonI wasnt expecting that at the end. I should have been i suppose but didnt. This is very well written, i could see what you were talking about as i read. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
~Write On~