11/2/2010 c1 bustedbyherparents
This is so sweet! I love it. But I think there should be some major conflict, like he already has a girlfriend or something. Definitely continue!
♥Muzica
This is so sweet! I love it. But I think there should be some major conflict, like he already has a girlfriend or something. Definitely continue!
♥Muzica
7/21/2008 c1 4nirnas
Can't wait to see where you'll go with this. I enjoyed it immensely. Hope you are still continuing the story. : )
Can't wait to see where you'll go with this. I enjoyed it immensely. Hope you are still continuing the story. : )
5/6/2008 c1 Weave-Words
Hey, This is cute! Classic romance. :) Do continue. I can see your good at romance. I like the way you describe the characters. Good work.
Hey, This is cute! Classic romance. :) Do continue. I can see your good at romance. I like the way you describe the characters. Good work.
3/6/2008 c1 WanderingTeen
I really like this and I do think that you should continue it. You make Mel into a really realistic charector and as the reader I can pretty much feel her pain at being cheated on. I also like how, though her friend gave advice, she wasn't exactly en expert on the matter and Mel was well aware of that.
So, even though I've already said it: please continue! I want to see what happens between Jesse and Mel.
I really like this and I do think that you should continue it. You make Mel into a really realistic charector and as the reader I can pretty much feel her pain at being cheated on. I also like how, though her friend gave advice, she wasn't exactly en expert on the matter and Mel was well aware of that.
So, even though I've already said it: please continue! I want to see what happens between Jesse and Mel.
10/19/2007 c1 43je suis une pomme du terre
Aw! More, more, more! This guy's cute xD Reminds me of a kid sitting next to me right now as I write this
Aw! More, more, more! This guy's cute xD Reminds me of a kid sitting next to me right now as I write this
9/23/2007 c1 13SamanthaNicole
Interesting beginning. I'm eager to see where you go with this.
I feel really bad for Mel (whose name, by the way, reminds me a great deal of Mel Gibson. Was that deliberate?), especially the way her boyfriend cheated on her. What an ass.
There were a few typos here and there; nothing a quick re-read won't catch.
"What, with her long blonde hair, baby-blue eyes, perfect figure, and the ability to carry off a jeans and ski coat ensemble whilst still looking stunning, along with her personality, well, she’s been described as ‘angelic’ many times before." This sentence is REALLY long. You may want to consider breaking it into two, just for smoother reading. Also, the 'what' at the very beginning should probably be deleted - it's just a little awkward with the way the rest of the sentence is structured.
In any case, this was good. Keep it up.
Cheers,
Sammy
Interesting beginning. I'm eager to see where you go with this.
I feel really bad for Mel (whose name, by the way, reminds me a great deal of Mel Gibson. Was that deliberate?), especially the way her boyfriend cheated on her. What an ass.
There were a few typos here and there; nothing a quick re-read won't catch.
"What, with her long blonde hair, baby-blue eyes, perfect figure, and the ability to carry off a jeans and ski coat ensemble whilst still looking stunning, along with her personality, well, she’s been described as ‘angelic’ many times before." This sentence is REALLY long. You may want to consider breaking it into two, just for smoother reading. Also, the 'what' at the very beginning should probably be deleted - it's just a little awkward with the way the rest of the sentence is structured.
In any case, this was good. Keep it up.
Cheers,
Sammy