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for Chasing Hearts

6/22/2010 c1 GR4CKY
I'm not usually into slash, but after reading your first chapter, I am convinced that my initial thoughts were wrong. I'm very interested in how you're going to make things progress :)
9/27/2007 c1 54kaylajac
I saw that you had me on your Favorite Author's list, and since you had hardly any reviews I thought I wanted to leave you one.

For someone whose first language isn't English, this was VERY good. The only problem I noticed was the way the tense often changes from present to past. For example, in the first paragraph, you switch like this:

"However, he knew it isn't the right thing. He never have felt this way before, but it's probably just a platonic attraction." If the events you're telling us about happened in the past, your verbs are going to be past tense. And if the events you're telling us about happened in the present, you have to have present tense. So, you should have fixed the verbs to be all past (most of your story seems to be in past tense) so it should say- "However, he knew it wasn't the right thing. He had never felt that way before, but it was probably just a platonic attraction."

I thought your vocabulary was very good. I love the words you used to describe people's tones of voice, actions, things like that.

I also thought this was a very sweet, cute story. You made me feel like I got to know the characters. And I wanted everything to turn out good for them :]

I'm sure you know all this- mostly you seem to have an incredibly good grasp of English, so good job! :] So of course a mistake here and there is no big deal. Great story!

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