for The Past, The Present4/12/2008 c22 Equilibrium
Cool chapter! I've decided that I like Seraph a lot, though Glidas is still my favourite. Loved the GlidasxShyves fluff in this chapter. I do hope they get together soon; they're a match made in heaven. Hurry up and update!
Cool chapter! I've decided that I like Seraph a lot, though Glidas is still my favourite. Loved the GlidasxShyves fluff in this chapter. I do hope they get together soon; they're a match made in heaven. Hurry up and update!
3/23/2008 c21 sdffds
Your writing has definitely improved! This chapter was more interesting to read, and I liked it a lot.
Your writing has definitely improved! This chapter was more interesting to read, and I liked it a lot.
3/18/2008 c21 Equilibrium
Hahaha! Love is in the air! And... barbeque spear? Hahahahahaha! Ranoth has just risen in my esteem for being utterly hilarious.
This was a good chapter. Glad to see that your Yoda-speech style of writing has gone down a lot. Keep it up!
Hahaha! Love is in the air! And... barbeque spear? Hahahahahaha! Ranoth has just risen in my esteem for being utterly hilarious.
This was a good chapter. Glad to see that your Yoda-speech style of writing has gone down a lot. Keep it up!
3/18/2008 c1 
20Sekine Hana
hello.
I like it. It draws the reader into the plot really well.
I found the transition from gidlas as an innocent child to a killer a little too fast. I couldn't seem to think of him as a killer because I still had the previous impression of him that you created in my mind. More elaboration on the change would be nice.
I don't have the time to read and review your other chapters now but I will when I have the time :)
-Sekine Hana
20Sekine Hanahello.
I like it. It draws the reader into the plot really well.
I found the transition from gidlas as an innocent child to a killer a little too fast. I couldn't seem to think of him as a killer because I still had the previous impression of him that you created in my mind. More elaboration on the change would be nice.
I don't have the time to read and review your other chapters now but I will when I have the time :)
-Sekine Hana
3/8/2008 c20 sdffds
Pretty good, it was an interesting chapter. A little work on the grammar tense though, but I think you've gotten a bit better. :)
Pretty good, it was an interesting chapter. A little work on the grammar tense though, but I think you've gotten a bit better. :)
3/4/2008 c20 Equilibrium
Wow. This chapter was really dramatic. The cliffhanger at the end was also really well done. Keeps the readers in suspense, which is horrible for us but good for you (cuz we wanna know more). Keep up the good work! (I hope poor Seraph doesn't do something he'll regret later ie. kill Glidas)
Wow. This chapter was really dramatic. The cliffhanger at the end was also really well done. Keeps the readers in suspense, which is horrible for us but good for you (cuz we wanna know more). Keep up the good work! (I hope poor Seraph doesn't do something he'll regret later ie. kill Glidas)
3/3/2008 c19 Equilibrium
Aw, it's a pity Glidas wasn't conscious enough to experience Shyves' first kiss! But anyway, i think you got the awkwardness of the situation down pat. It was a really nice chapter. Having Shyves' master die like that was a nice, dramatic touch too. Keep it up!
Aw, it's a pity Glidas wasn't conscious enough to experience Shyves' first kiss! But anyway, i think you got the awkwardness of the situation down pat. It was a really nice chapter. Having Shyves' master die like that was a nice, dramatic touch too. Keep it up!
3/2/2008 c19 sdffds
I think that your writing has improved since the last time I read. :) Good job! Your story is also getting more interesting. Update soon.
I think that your writing has improved since the last time I read. :) Good job! Your story is also getting more interesting. Update soon.
1/29/2008 c18 Equilibrium
Whew. I'm glad Ardez didn't die. This was an interesting chapter. You might want to have a little more description though. I also recommend running it through a spelling/grammar check. But other than that, good job. ^.^
Whew. I'm glad Ardez didn't die. This was an interesting chapter. You might want to have a little more description though. I also recommend running it through a spelling/grammar check. But other than that, good job. ^.^
1/22/2008 c17 Equilibrium
Good chapter! Your grammar and spelling have improved. My only complaint would be that 'rock, paper, scissors' is the sort of thing people use to decide trivial matters, and thus is VERY unsuitable for making such a serious choice.
Good chapter! Your grammar and spelling have improved. My only complaint would be that 'rock, paper, scissors' is the sort of thing people use to decide trivial matters, and thus is VERY unsuitable for making such a serious choice.