for A DoubleEdged Sword, Of Sorts12/16/2007 c1 Thracian
The descriptions again were short and raw, which is awesome (if you've ever read a novel by Maxx Barry, your style is similar to his it reminded me of it). I liked the overall voice in this though, very realistic.
...I put a broomstick in my sliding door too, it works most of the time.
I also like how the main character isn't made out to be a hero really, just a normal guy. And I like the random thought he has added in near the bottom about his grandmother, odd moment to be thinking about that but it works since that often happens to most people. Nice work man, good style, this was a good read.
The descriptions again were short and raw, which is awesome (if you've ever read a novel by Maxx Barry, your style is similar to his it reminded me of it). I liked the overall voice in this though, very realistic.
...I put a broomstick in my sliding door too, it works most of the time.
I also like how the main character isn't made out to be a hero really, just a normal guy. And I like the random thought he has added in near the bottom about his grandmother, odd moment to be thinking about that but it works since that often happens to most people. Nice work man, good style, this was a good read.
10/14/2007 c1 
20Twilight Starr
Great story. A robber coming into the house would, of course, be very scary. I would have just grabbed the phone and dialed 911, but that wouldn't have made such a great story. ;)
Hopefully it never actually happens.
~Twilight Starr~
20Twilight StarrGreat story. A robber coming into the house would, of course, be very scary. I would have just grabbed the phone and dialed 911, but that wouldn't have made such a great story. ;)
Hopefully it never actually happens.
~Twilight Starr~
10/11/2007 c1 9ByFyreLyte
This was intense, man...i loved the descriptions going through his head, all in a few seconds. The realistic element of how he'd react to an intruder-damn scared, not bold-faced and heroic-adds very well to the story. Very good, I look forward to reading your other works.
9ByFyreLyteThis was intense, man...i loved the descriptions going through his head, all in a few seconds. The realistic element of how he'd react to an intruder-damn scared, not bold-faced and heroic-adds very well to the story. Very good, I look forward to reading your other works.
10/8/2007 c1 19Justin J
Wow. This is good. I loved it. Sad ending, though...but I suppose that's to be expected.
Still, I loved this!
- Insanity Lord.
19Justin JWow. This is good. I loved it. Sad ending, though...but I suppose that's to be expected.
Still, I loved this!
- Insanity Lord.
9/29/2007 c1 65Stella Grimshaw
This wasn't anything that I expected. I loved all the different descriptions you used, and the final lines were just perfect. Most of it was just so ironic but amazing. Great job, I can't wait to see what else you come up with.
65Stella GrimshawThis wasn't anything that I expected. I loved all the different descriptions you used, and the final lines were just perfect. Most of it was just so ironic but amazing. Great job, I can't wait to see what else you come up with.