for Legend of the Lone Lotus2/2/2008 c1 
6concerto49
Hm more plants. Ha, I feel sorry for the lotus. This reminds me of how people promote a better environment and recycling. Very true that people all just care about themselves. This gives me more the impression of some of those fables I used to read when small. I guess if this was about animals or people it'd be a bit boring maybe, but the lotus fixed it all up.
Well, cheers.
6concerto49Hm more plants. Ha, I feel sorry for the lotus. This reminds me of how people promote a better environment and recycling. Very true that people all just care about themselves. This gives me more the impression of some of those fables I used to read when small. I guess if this was about animals or people it'd be a bit boring maybe, but the lotus fixed it all up.
Well, cheers.
10/3/2007 c1 1N.E. Olson
"In spring, there would be many birds that came out and sung." You are switching tenses here from future to past. Not good. Since the first sentence is in the past, I would just put the entire thing in the past: In spring there were many birds that came out and sang.
As I read further I see that the entire first paragraph has a tendency to switch.
Ooh! That's really cool that it's written from the viewpoint of a tree. I like it!
Wow. That hit an environmental sore spot. I thought it was very well written and thought provoking.
1N.E. Olson"In spring, there would be many birds that came out and sung." You are switching tenses here from future to past. Not good. Since the first sentence is in the past, I would just put the entire thing in the past: In spring there were many birds that came out and sang.
As I read further I see that the entire first paragraph has a tendency to switch.
Ooh! That's really cool that it's written from the viewpoint of a tree. I like it!
Wow. That hit an environmental sore spot. I thought it was very well written and thought provoking.
10/2/2007 c1 6xEmoMuffinx
It has a very nice feel to it and the same atmostphere was maintained throughout. Sounds like it is narrated by an old oak tree. There's nothing wrong with it, I like it. It has good...emotions.
6xEmoMuffinxIt has a very nice feel to it and the same atmostphere was maintained throughout. Sounds like it is narrated by an old oak tree. There's nothing wrong with it, I like it. It has good...emotions.