for The Knight and His Flyswatter2/3/2008 c1 
612simpleplan13
That was really funny, but the ending poses a good question and makes you think.. great write
612simpleplan13That was really funny, but the ending poses a good question and makes you think.. great write
12/29/2007 c1 9littlemandalee
This is really cute. A very interesting twist on an old cliche. As much amusing as it is creative.
9littlemandaleeThis is really cute. A very interesting twist on an old cliche. As much amusing as it is creative.
12/25/2007 c1 12l3g3nd
Well, lol that was pretty funny.
[And worshipped him till he died.] Haha, I liked it.
The last paragraph was a nice ending you have got there, especially the last sentence.
[Or are they just trying to live?]
Anyway, I figured out you have an interest in writing insects and plants, that's pretty unique.
Keep the good work up and happy writing!
12l3g3ndWell, lol that was pretty funny.
[And worshipped him till he died.] Haha, I liked it.
The last paragraph was a nice ending you have got there, especially the last sentence.
[Or are they just trying to live?]
Anyway, I figured out you have an interest in writing insects and plants, that's pretty unique.
Keep the good work up and happy writing!
10/12/2007 c1 62Oracle of Destiny
Hehe, a knight swatting flies is something that you never come across. LOL - it is so damn funny :) Please write more like this hehe.
62Oracle of DestinyHehe, a knight swatting flies is something that you never come across. LOL - it is so damn funny :) Please write more like this hehe.
10/10/2007 c1 13exit pursued by a bear
I like this poem, and it makes me laugh, but I think some of the rhymes are forced. You might want to try rearranging the words a little to make it work better, especially the last stanza.
Other than that, great job!
13exit pursued by a bearI like this poem, and it makes me laugh, but I think some of the rhymes are forced. You might want to try rearranging the words a little to make it work better, especially the last stanza.
Other than that, great job!
10/4/2007 c1 Kindre Turnany
This made me laugh. I don't read enough funny stuff.
"Showed no mercy on any fly"
I think that should be 'to,' not 'on.'
And your rhyme sounds a bit forced in a few parts, but its great overall.
This made me laugh. I don't read enough funny stuff.
"Showed no mercy on any fly"
I think that should be 'to,' not 'on.'
And your rhyme sounds a bit forced in a few parts, but its great overall.
10/3/2007 c1 1N.E. Olson
This made me laugh. It is a very interesting idea, and completely different from the usual knight in shining armor image which you dispel immediately. One this I would caution you on is the beat. Most of the time you wrote in iambic pentameter (which is my favorite, incidentally. YAY!), but some lines didn't fit with this rhythm. It tripped me up a little at times, especially towards the end. But other than that, I really liked this. It's very creative! : )
1N.E. OlsonThis made me laugh. It is a very interesting idea, and completely different from the usual knight in shining armor image which you dispel immediately. One this I would caution you on is the beat. Most of the time you wrote in iambic pentameter (which is my favorite, incidentally. YAY!), but some lines didn't fit with this rhythm. It tripped me up a little at times, especially towards the end. But other than that, I really liked this. It's very creative! : )
10/2/2007 c1 20Twilight Starr
Lol, this is an awesomely amusing poem.
Good luck with poetry and life.
Have a wonderful day. :)
~Twilight Starr~
20Twilight StarrLol, this is an awesomely amusing poem.
Good luck with poetry and life.
Have a wonderful day. :)
~Twilight Starr~
10/2/2007 c1 6xEmoMuffinx
Hilarious! The rhyming is fine, but the last stanza...unless it is implied that live is an anagram of evil...
Anyway, this reminds me of Don Quixote on his little...mare or was it a donkey? Mule? I forget.
Very funny! I'd ask you to review some of my stories, but FictionPress doens't let me.
6xEmoMuffinxHilarious! The rhyming is fine, but the last stanza...unless it is implied that live is an anagram of evil...
Anyway, this reminds me of Don Quixote on his little...mare or was it a donkey? Mule? I forget.
Very funny! I'd ask you to review some of my stories, but FictionPress doens't let me.