for Reality is Relative3/6/2008 c1 
3Thoughtless7
Ah, no...only a nightmare! I really liked how you wrote this. Action and transitional scenes were flowing very seemlessly, something I ALWAYS have trouble with. And the action- muchos bueno! *thumbs up* It was fast-paced when it needed to be. Biting-my-lip-in-anticipation action!
There's not much I can think to critique on...maybe, their names? Their names are cool, but in present time they're just plumb odd, and kids tease odd-named kids, trust me. :P Are they from another story of yours? And just a dream, noo! D: Personally I've never liked that kind of ending...but that's just me. XD
But aside from that I think this was great. Your pacing was excellent too! Great one-shot. :D
3Thoughtless7Ah, no...only a nightmare! I really liked how you wrote this. Action and transitional scenes were flowing very seemlessly, something I ALWAYS have trouble with. And the action- muchos bueno! *thumbs up* It was fast-paced when it needed to be. Biting-my-lip-in-anticipation action!
There's not much I can think to critique on...maybe, their names? Their names are cool, but in present time they're just plumb odd, and kids tease odd-named kids, trust me. :P Are they from another story of yours? And just a dream, noo! D: Personally I've never liked that kind of ending...but that's just me. XD
But aside from that I think this was great. Your pacing was excellent too! Great one-shot. :D