for I've Always Been a Little Bit in Love With You4/30/2015 c1 Kay
Very sweet.
Very sweet.
12/16/2007 c1 
8squiggle-line
Squee! You have some beautiful phrases. My two favorite are: "I think it's the most important title that I have ever had" and "We're not little kids anymore, but we still climb up to the treehouse once in a while."
I don't really like the length of "Graduation Day." I guess it's necessary to complete the story, but I like how short all the other grades are and the length of this one makes it seem messier. Also, it's the only section with dialogue. I understand that it's important but is there any way to tell what happens without it, to keep it in the same style as the rest of the story?
The last line ("But somehow, I think I've always been a little [bit?] in love with you.") seems out of place. The narrator talks about friendship through the entire story, with love as an understood sentiment...I wish you had left it like that.
Some things aren't explained fully (the family situation, the girlfriend) and that doesn't bother me but I wonder if it would bother judges in a creative writing contest...
Overall, very cute though. :)
8squiggle-lineSquee! You have some beautiful phrases. My two favorite are: "I think it's the most important title that I have ever had" and "We're not little kids anymore, but we still climb up to the treehouse once in a while."
I don't really like the length of "Graduation Day." I guess it's necessary to complete the story, but I like how short all the other grades are and the length of this one makes it seem messier. Also, it's the only section with dialogue. I understand that it's important but is there any way to tell what happens without it, to keep it in the same style as the rest of the story?
The last line ("But somehow, I think I've always been a little [bit?] in love with you.") seems out of place. The narrator talks about friendship through the entire story, with love as an understood sentiment...I wish you had left it like that.
Some things aren't explained fully (the family situation, the girlfriend) and that doesn't bother me but I wonder if it would bother judges in a creative writing contest...
Overall, very cute though. :)
12/12/2007 c1 9Lily Llynn
I like this one. It's different - how it's laid out and written - but it's still good writing and still a bit fluffy, which is always nice. (: I always like those stories that stand out and are different, so I'm definitely adding this to my c2. (:
9Lily LlynnI like this one. It's different - how it's laid out and written - but it's still good writing and still a bit fluffy, which is always nice. (: I always like those stories that stand out and are different, so I'm definitely adding this to my c2. (:
10/14/2007 c1 11FluffVampyre
I think it's really cool, but maybe you should work more on this story, Don't take wrong the idea, 'cause I loved this one! I think the cutest love is the one of best friends like this one.
P.S. A suggestion: read other people's stuff so you can get more ideas. Keep writing! This was amazingly lovely! ^^
11FluffVampyreI think it's really cool, but maybe you should work more on this story, Don't take wrong the idea, 'cause I loved this one! I think the cutest love is the one of best friends like this one.
P.S. A suggestion: read other people's stuff so you can get more ideas. Keep writing! This was amazingly lovely! ^^