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for Abberation Grey

8/30/2008 c1 6Mockingbyrd's Tune
Like curling vines, the words in this piece grow up around the mind, entrancing the reader with fluid ease. They begin to constrict and choke the happiness with every line.

“a system which creates neither prosperity or destruction” This is such a meaningful picture; if one cannot find a benefit or an active evil in something, it makes it all the more unpalatable and repulsive.

Did you mean the man’s face to be “emancipated” or emaciated? The first means released or freed from bondage, the second means wasted away.

I feel ambiguous about the theme, yet a sense of admiration, due to the manipulation of the words and ideas, for the writer. The writing speaks with emotion, but allows the reader to interpret his/her own meaning. I come away with a sense that the word “order” expresses misery for the solitary road-walker because he has no permission to choose his own path or thought of his own.
4/17/2008 c1 13Panchromatic
this is really good. the diction is incredible. i love the first line and the way it ties in with the last line. the personification of the road is wonderful. the characterization of the nameless traveler is wonderful. The sentence structure is crisp and good in a hemingwayish way.

overall, very good. it makes me want to read it again and maybe again.
11/13/2007 c1 6Elliot Hart
This blurb was the perfect piece of desolation to make a bad day even worse. While I am not all that fond of bad days and desolation, the fact that it can make me feel that way speaks for itself. At least, if facts could speak, they would. So in its place, I will simply state that this is excessively wonderful collection of words.

And I absolutel loved the part about there being no rust on the sign since there was no weather in that place.
10/18/2007 c1 5only pretending
I really like this.

It has a...god, I cant explain it. I dont know why I like it, its just so well written. I love the start.

Gosh. Great job.

10/16/2007 c1 20Twilight Starr
Good, little story.

~Twilight Starr~
10/16/2007 c1 4Leinnansidhe
Christ, I'm not exactly sure why I didn't read this sooner. I guess I get so attached to your other pieces (read: SFTZ and HSoDS) that I was afraid to read anything else. Silly, eh?

The is the most poetic piece I've read in a long time, and your descriptions and word choice were amazing. AMAZING.

Just one thing: the beginning contains the wrong version of 'to'. The one you used means something along the lines of 'as well'. But overall, it's flawless. An extra letter is really easy to overlook.

It felt very lonely. There's not a lot of pieces on fictionpress that convey emotion this nicely, and they usually end up looking/sounding artifical and forced. This looked effortless and flowed. I'm so freakin' glad I started reading your stuff.

Keep it up! Try new things like this! Yay! Go literary art! Go you!

And now I go back to pretending I'm learning :D

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