for Time After Time12/13/2007 c7 fantasticoxx
FINAllY. I was waiting forever, but this still wasn't enough for me. Write more! :)
FINAllY. I was waiting forever, but this still wasn't enough for me. Write more! :)
12/4/2007 c6 Grande Noir
Great story. I am going to have to start nit picking at you though :p. Very different to your other bits and bobs, not so much style though - i cant quite pick it - i do like it.
Great story. I am going to have to start nit picking at you though :p. Very different to your other bits and bobs, not so much style though - i cant quite pick it - i do like it.
11/4/2007 c6 fantasticoxx
I submit reviews because I know how important they are to keep someone writing. I love this story so I want to encourage you to keep writing as fast as you can! :D I liked this chapter a lot and as always you have me on the edge of my seat.
I submit reviews because I know how important they are to keep someone writing. I love this story so I want to encourage you to keep writing as fast as you can! :D I liked this chapter a lot and as always you have me on the edge of my seat.
11/3/2007 c6 
1Koinophobia
Oh no, don't make Riley a bad guy... on the other hand, that would be an excellent plot twist, and I'd be interested to see how that worked out. I'm sort of hoping he's only been abducted rather than having sold the others out. To be honest, something makes me not trust Tara- but I could be getting the wrong end of the stick.
This is a fantastic chapter- very well written, and now I want more. Kudos on a quick update.
Typos, just two I found:
"Riley had always indented to take longer" Think you mean 'intended'
and:
“A little two interesting for my taste,” Should be 'too'
Heh. I'm proud to be a pedant. Rather than a pendant, which is a necklace. Mind you, he/she/it could be a necklace...
Apologies for the excessive nitpickery, as this is a brilliant story, and don't let me irritate you.
1KoinophobiaOh no, don't make Riley a bad guy... on the other hand, that would be an excellent plot twist, and I'd be interested to see how that worked out. I'm sort of hoping he's only been abducted rather than having sold the others out. To be honest, something makes me not trust Tara- but I could be getting the wrong end of the stick.
This is a fantastic chapter- very well written, and now I want more. Kudos on a quick update.
Typos, just two I found:
"Riley had always indented to take longer" Think you mean 'intended'
and:
“A little two interesting for my taste,” Should be 'too'
Heh. I'm proud to be a pedant. Rather than a pendant, which is a necklace. Mind you, he/she/it could be a necklace...
Apologies for the excessive nitpickery, as this is a brilliant story, and don't let me irritate you.
11/1/2007 c5 Koinophobia
She/he/it says you're welcome.
Cool chapter. Very cool. Toby rocks like a ton of boulders, I like her more and more. You manage to make her very believable. But damn you and your cliff hangers! Beyond the government...hm...(wracks brain)Nope, can't think... (awaits exposition eagerly)
Pedant time! (You love it)
"...your thinking about an old woman’s heart conditions?”
Should be "You're". That's the only one I noticed. Apart from you did spell 'Pedant' wrong...but that was in the A/N, so doesn't count... yes, i'm evil.
BTW, I don't think I mentioned in my last review how very flattered I was that you took enough note of my random niggle to write it into the chapter. Well, I was. This story is excellent, and finding you updated was a highlight of an otherwise truly awful week. So thank you- and good luck with exams if you still have more to do.
She/he/it says you're welcome.
Cool chapter. Very cool. Toby rocks like a ton of boulders, I like her more and more. You manage to make her very believable. But damn you and your cliff hangers! Beyond the government...hm...(wracks brain)Nope, can't think... (awaits exposition eagerly)
Pedant time! (You love it)
"...your thinking about an old woman’s heart conditions?”
Should be "You're". That's the only one I noticed. Apart from you did spell 'Pedant' wrong...but that was in the A/N, so doesn't count... yes, i'm evil.
BTW, I don't think I mentioned in my last review how very flattered I was that you took enough note of my random niggle to write it into the chapter. Well, I was. This story is excellent, and finding you updated was a highlight of an otherwise truly awful week. So thank you- and good luck with exams if you still have more to do.
11/1/2007 c5 fantasticoxx
I loved this chapter although you did still leave me hanging when Riley wouldn't tell her about whats going on with her dad. You're doing a great job wrting, and it's a really good story line. Keep up the good work. ^^
I loved this chapter although you did still leave me hanging when Riley wouldn't tell her about whats going on with her dad. You're doing a great job wrting, and it's a really good story line. Keep up the good work. ^^
10/23/2007 c4 25three.word.lies
well i just always assumed it was something to do with her dad
like theres money on her head
anyway nice chapter, i love it
25three.word.lieswell i just always assumed it was something to do with her dad
like theres money on her head
anyway nice chapter, i love it
10/23/2007 c4 1Koinophobia
Bwahahahaha! I am the pedant!
Calm now.
Another good chapter- nice to have some more action again. And I really like Toby- she's an ace character! Well balanced too, she is taking the attack on her life in her stride, but I wonder if she may reach a breaking point eventually- this is all pretty unusual, after all...
My one grammar point, and this may be just me, going with English spellings, but I think 'story' as in buildings is spelt 'storey'. This could be wrong. The pedant is unsure.
As to Riley and co, hmm, could they be people employed by Toby's Dad? I have this theory that he is somehow all mixed up in the middle of this, that's the impression I get, anyway.
Thanks for story goodness, good luck with exams!
1KoinophobiaBwahahahaha! I am the pedant!
Calm now.
Another good chapter- nice to have some more action again. And I really like Toby- she's an ace character! Well balanced too, she is taking the attack on her life in her stride, but I wonder if she may reach a breaking point eventually- this is all pretty unusual, after all...
My one grammar point, and this may be just me, going with English spellings, but I think 'story' as in buildings is spelt 'storey'. This could be wrong. The pedant is unsure.
As to Riley and co, hmm, could they be people employed by Toby's Dad? I have this theory that he is somehow all mixed up in the middle of this, that's the impression I get, anyway.
Thanks for story goodness, good luck with exams!
10/19/2007 c3 fantasticoxx
Great chapter! You have still left me hanging though...grr.. :) Update soon!
Great chapter! You have still left me hanging though...grr.. :) Update soon!
10/19/2007 c3 1lipzofanangell
I really like this one, my favorite part was when Riley walked in on Toby, sorry but that was funny. Thanks for reading chapter one of my story, I just put chapter 2 up. As for proof reading.
I found something in this sentence. I think must is supposed to be much.
“Oh, no you didn’t scar me- Well I mean… I wasn’t looking but it- there wasn’t anything scarring. It was nice- no wait I mean…” he trailed off and I could imagine his face burning must like mine had
1lipzofanangellI really like this one, my favorite part was when Riley walked in on Toby, sorry but that was funny. Thanks for reading chapter one of my story, I just put chapter 2 up. As for proof reading.
I found something in this sentence. I think must is supposed to be much.
“Oh, no you didn’t scar me- Well I mean… I wasn’t looking but it- there wasn’t anything scarring. It was nice- no wait I mean…” he trailed off and I could imagine his face burning must like mine had
10/19/2007 c3 1Koinophobia
Pshaw, 8 year age gap? Nothing wrong with that...
Anyway- you do update fast, don't you? That made me happy...and reading it made me feel even better- nice that we're getting some more character development. Maybe a little odd that they've gone back to her flat- I know they had to move out of the previous place, but October's own home might not be the safest alternative...meh, just a little niggle. As of yet, what's really happening isn't clear, so yay, the suspense keeps mounting!
Proof reading wise-
"Sorry if I scared you for life." Think you meant 'scarred'. God, I sound like an English teacher. But that was the only typo I noticed...The pedant will leave now. Keep it up!
1KoinophobiaPshaw, 8 year age gap? Nothing wrong with that...
Anyway- you do update fast, don't you? That made me happy...and reading it made me feel even better- nice that we're getting some more character development. Maybe a little odd that they've gone back to her flat- I know they had to move out of the previous place, but October's own home might not be the safest alternative...meh, just a little niggle. As of yet, what's really happening isn't clear, so yay, the suspense keeps mounting!
Proof reading wise-
"Sorry if I scared you for life." Think you meant 'scarred'. God, I sound like an English teacher. But that was the only typo I noticed...The pedant will leave now. Keep it up!