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for To Die

10/24/2007 c1 5thesuffering
over all i find it to be well writen
10/23/2007 c1 The Postscript
This sounds a little disjointed - almost like unfinished magnetic poetry, lacking the connection between thought. Never the less, I like the imagery and the message - both of which shell deep into the heart and mind .. really making you think and feel.

That being said, as much as I don't like the disjointedness, I fear that trying to amend it would take away from some of the truly outstanding imagery and meaning. I think it is just a style-issue that will develop as you continue develop as a writer.

So, I guess .. be concious of what I mentioned above when you are writing. And .. now that I've talked myself into liking this poem, I'll just leave it at that and say keep writing. -k.

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