for Missing Muse12/7/2007 c1 
25TylerB
I liked how the last two lines of the first stanza rhymed, giving it a complete kind of full cirlce flow (if that makes any sense...) But I was dissapointed that you only did that on the first stanza.
None the less, it was still beautifully desciptive, and (as always) an aesthetically pleasing read.
25TylerBI liked how the last two lines of the first stanza rhymed, giving it a complete kind of full cirlce flow (if that makes any sense...) But I was dissapointed that you only did that on the first stanza.
None the less, it was still beautifully desciptive, and (as always) an aesthetically pleasing read.
10/30/2007 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I really enjoyed the repitition of 'please' the overall feel of this piece was amazing. And your detail was striking, so many amazing images. I really enjoyed this piece. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
1k+Faithless JulietI really enjoyed the repitition of 'please' the overall feel of this piece was amazing. And your detail was striking, so many amazing images. I really enjoyed this piece. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.
10/24/2007 c1 197the Stranger in the moonlight
This was thrilling in an exotic and poetic way. Just wonderful inspired read. I loved the beginnings with "please" and then the denial of asking what you wish, it gave the poem wonderful flow.
~the Stranger in the moonlight
197the Stranger in the moonlightThis was thrilling in an exotic and poetic way. Just wonderful inspired read. I loved the beginnings with "please" and then the denial of asking what you wish, it gave the poem wonderful flow.
~the Stranger in the moonlight
10/23/2007 c1 25the face in the window
This is really pretty. I can totally relate. Another beautiful write.
Rowan.
25the face in the windowThis is really pretty. I can totally relate. Another beautiful write.
Rowan.
10/23/2007 c1 half-sketched.staccatos
konban wa
I loved this. *adds to favs* The imagery was absolutely beautiful. "braiding each strand into a copper necklace," "paint sunflowers down her back," "(i'm proving my insanity," etc.
Speaking of that last line - you forgot the end parenthesis. Just thought I'd mention it. Also, in the fourth stanza, fourth line, you wrote, "slowing" instead of "slowly."
At first "Slow[ly] feeling inside of me" sounded sexual, but I got what you meant after I read the rest of the stanza. It still sounded a bit awkward because of the connotation of the words, though; so perhaps you'd like to change that. Then again, that might have been your desire, in which case *shrug*.
Zaijen
-Shan-
konban wa
I loved this. *adds to favs* The imagery was absolutely beautiful. "braiding each strand into a copper necklace," "paint sunflowers down her back," "(i'm proving my insanity," etc.
Speaking of that last line - you forgot the end parenthesis. Just thought I'd mention it. Also, in the fourth stanza, fourth line, you wrote, "slowing" instead of "slowly."
At first "Slow[ly] feeling inside of me" sounded sexual, but I got what you meant after I read the rest of the stanza. It still sounded a bit awkward because of the connotation of the words, though; so perhaps you'd like to change that. Then again, that might have been your desire, in which case *shrug*.
Zaijen
-Shan-