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5/9/2016 c26 7IcanzIIravor
About time! That's all I have to say.
5/5/2016 c30 1Du
So here's the deal. Less than 48 hours from now I will be taking the most important exam of my life up to this point. And, like any time I am stressed, I procrastinate, a lot. I needed something to distract me yesterday, and ai thought "it's been awhile since I read a teen fic, let's find one of those silly high school clichés", and I came upon this story. This is so much more than I expected. I binge read it, and let me tell you, it is LONG. But I did. I loved it. It was deep, your characters had so many layers, and the plot, though bordering some clichés, was mostly unique. It was so well written, I loved how slow the story progressed. I remember reading around chapters 5 or 6 and thinking "I have no idea how there is a possible future scenario where these two actually get along..." Yet you did it. And brilliantly so. It was a wonderful wonderful read. Thank you so much for making me believe in teen fics again! (Though I can guarantee I won't be reading others any time soon...)
Best wishes! xx
4/23/2016 c31 Astronomia
I really hope this isn't plagiarised again. I think it might break my heart if you take down this story.

This is a little stupid but this story is something that I associate with the last time I was genuinely happy. I read it every now and then when my depression returns; FictionPress is my therapy, and this story is one of the things that has helped distract me from some of the darkest times of my life.
3/19/2016 c1 iLan89
Hey, where are you? are you still alive?
you know, you ruined fictionpress for me! your story was sooooooooooo good, i never found another like it. So here's the deal: either you give me suggestion for a story equally or more so good as this OR you write another brilliant story. FAST!
12/28/2015 c15 Lucykins
Okay so I know this review is long over due since you finished this story a while back. This is just for the chapters up until 15. I really liked the beginning, I was looking for a realistic story with sharp interactions between well crafted characters and it seemed like a good choice. Unfortunately, during the past few chapters this story kind of went downhill (still, maintaining a high level of writing though).

There are a few inconsistencies with the story like a previous reviewer wrote, Aaron's eye colour is described as both blue and brown, Alyssa originally was suppose to be older than Aaron but then she's apparently a year younger. You've written that you wanted this story to be realistic but every time Matt saves her life it gets less and less realistic. I mean, what are the odds? Also, the night her mother kicked Aaron out, you didn't provide an explanation for where she had spent the night. There is also inconsistency with the days.

Another thing that bothers me now that I liked in the beginning and missing at this point is her every-day school life. Maybe describe a lesson or having her make her homework, you're keeping everything so intense and jumping from event to event and it's making it difficult to "enter" the story. I'm writing this now because of how this chapter ended, with Todd. I mean, he probably knows the girl was almost raped so what's the deal? Everyone and I mean -everyone- in this story is simply mean, evil. Why? Ed and Vinny and Todd and the older waitress, the teacher from the beginning, her mother, her brother, Amelia, Matt, Matt's dad, the guy who drugged Alyssa, Arg! Why? Aaron is a nice girl, she's not described as stupid or evil or ugly so why is everyone downright nasty? Again, very unrealistic.

One more thing and then I'm done... hehe (this is just constructive criticism I do like this story) I'm guessing at certain point Aaron and Matt are going to get involved, fall in love or whatever. At this point of the story, Matt has absolutely no reason to fall for Aaron. You've been characterising her as an annoying little sister. While Matt is smart, handsome, popular, caring (in his own way), she is dull, bendable, dependable, troublemaker, unattractive (to him, at least), not smart at all (maybe book smart but zero intelligence and street wisdom), childish. Which is a shame because in the beginning she was intriguing and clever then she suddenly changed. I still like her a lot since she's very compassionate and caring for her family and her brother. But what I'm basically missing is perhaps some input about her, maybe hobbies, music she likes, movies, books, everyday-life opinions, having her exchange general information with Matt, even incidentally, or maybe just to us, the readers.

Anywayyy... I'm only writing long reviews to stories I actually like. I know it's already finished, perhaps one day you'll decide to re-write or re-post or whatever, so this is my input for chapters 1-15.
Okay, chapter 16 here I come :)
11/2/2015 c8 Guest
Aaron is a great character. She is caring and strong and I can only empathize with her as she goes through so much, and she's also flawed which makes her really interesting. I like her a lot. I can't say the same about Matthew though. So far he's been terrible, especially the way he reacted to her mom belittling her, it was really cruel. Right now I can't think of a way he could even begin to redeem himself, so I'm really curious how you're going to make it happen! It's part of why this story is so compelling to me. Thank you for sharing your writing!
10/18/2015 c30 Red
I read this all in one day. I swear to God it was soooooo good!

I loved how the relationship between Aaron and Matthew progressed realistically. I always find it really annoying how some writers rush the relationship growth between the main characters because it seems so unnatural and it isn't very fun to read because it's too unrealistic, and the one in this story couldn't be further from that. I also appreciated that you included other characters, as in the whole story did not just revolve on the main couple, and how you inserted bits and pieces about the lives of these minor people.

WAH this was just too good! It had me crying and laughing and squealing and kicking my foot (I really don't know why) and smiling like an idiot! I think I'm just really a sucker for stories where hatred turns to love, and I got to say, this one is probably the best I've read of that kind. Ugh thank you thank you thank you for writing this shebefiuasrghewiurwiughaeir you could publish this you know! No offense but other writers can't write shit and this is a thousand times better than their work (lol ok that was harsh im sorry) UGH I LOVE YOU PLEASE WRITE MORE OR MAYBE A SPINOFF IDK JUST PLEASE WRITE MORE xx

7/18/2015 c31 5Ishotthealbatross
This is an amazing story and I keep coming back to re-read it. I'd be really sad to see it taken down :( That being said, I'm so sorry this happened to you again. Plagiarizers are stupid pieces of shit who couldn't write something original to save their lives.
6/9/2015 c30 Guest
Well done!
5/15/2015 c17 4Princess Wanderer
This is a personal opinion here, but from my experience divorced parents where one is absent and the other is verbally and sometimes physically abusive alcoholic while watching a beloved sibling crumble under horrors of drug abuse plus being treated like shit because of some weird status complex by the only person the acknowledges one's existence. Being forced to break an abusive parents rules about having a job in attempt to save/see one's beloved and recently estranged sibling. To be almost killed while trying to save a friend and then being almost raped twice at a job where the boss is verbally abusive. While be saved by a guy that tells one that he rather they had died and other verbal abusive. While trying to be a straight student and serve detentions with an abusive asshole. Getting kicked out of home by abusive parent. Only to room with a friend that is selfish enough to emotionally manipulate everyone around her by withholding any and all information about herself.
Dead parents are sad. But Alyssa's life is a dream compared to Aaron's. I am really really pissed off at the character that she thinks that her life is worse than Aaron's! SHE IS BEING SUPPORTED BY LOVING MAGICAL FOSTER PARENTS! I know plenty of girls with dead parents that died in high school. (Like two but that is enough) and they were a wreck but they carried on. I don't blame the girl for the pregnancy but she was sexually active with a guy who she never asked "Hey, this an exclusive sex between us two only thing right babe?" Having unsafe sex is a stupid but understandable move but the fact that she is mostly upset that he "cheated" on her when they never declared that they were exclusive pisses me off. It pisses me off that she gets off so easy with keeping the baby because of these magic foster parents when most girls would have an impossible time with normal parents. BUT what pisses me off most is that she is so closed off about all this bullshit because it is just SOOOooooo... terrible when she has it easy and Aaron's life is a bucket of hell.
to clarify I still love this story and I still like Alyssa... I just no longer have any respect for her and a whole lot more for Aaron
5/15/2015 c13 Princess Wanderer
Aaron's eyes are described as both brown like Chris's and blue like their mom's also how did go from Saturday night to Thursday morning in one night?
5/4/2015 c31 6EclairDenise
I love this so much. And the ending, gosh. Alyssa's baby girl must be so cute! And Chris' smile, aww, I would really pay to see that!

Is it possible to fall in love with a story? Because I think I have. :
4/20/2015 c29 Guest
I remember spring break 2008. Damn what a time.
4/2/2015 c31 starstruck
u r AMAZING! Ur story is AMAZING!
I have no words to tell u just how awesome this story was
just WOW
u know this was my first time reading a story at fiction press n I found ur work (recommended). I don't know what else to say so just keep up the excellent work!
(did all this sound weird? o.O)
3/31/2015 c23 9.30gold
m speechless! really
hard 2 find such GEM
it ws more dan amazing
u stuck 2 d charactr, d flow
rly rly talented u r
Dis z d 2nd fic dt i hv read wch z so well writtn
u know wat i think u shud publish it
as in a book
rly plz plz kp writing
nf ya i wud also lk 2 recomnd 1 fanfic to u (1 of d bst fic i read nd ya urs 2)
goes by d name ... seduction by starjean
gv it a shot if u wnt
Gud Luck
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