for Hero5/20/2009 c5 
10under the bed
Due to my sick-hazed vision, I had to reread a few passages. The verdict? Nicely done; very entertaining.
10under the bedDue to my sick-hazed vision, I had to reread a few passages. The verdict? Nicely done; very entertaining.
5/4/2009 c4 Capriccio
This was some great chapter!
everything from the chapter title to the end had me glued to the screen. 'Gratitude or Apology?'
this chap was also a bit different from the others.
and i loved it! from the characters. I like that lil' relationship that you created with Monique and Jared, it's simple but effective.
“That was no way near a kiss. If I kissed you, I can assure that you would be begging me for more.”i liked this lil' dialouge. it's very jayden
can't wait for your next. Get's better
This was some great chapter!
everything from the chapter title to the end had me glued to the screen. 'Gratitude or Apology?'
this chap was also a bit different from the others.
and i loved it! from the characters. I like that lil' relationship that you created with Monique and Jared, it's simple but effective.
“That was no way near a kiss. If I kissed you, I can assure that you would be begging me for more.”i liked this lil' dialouge. it's very jayden
can't wait for your next. Get's better
5/2/2009 c4 3bumblee bee
hey hey
well wow great chapter just the way u had planned cant wait till the next one hurry and put it into wriying! stuff skool it doesnt matter(oh wait yes it does) well wat ever great chapter i love jared! yay
talk to u soon love bee
3bumblee beehey hey
well wow great chapter just the way u had planned cant wait till the next one hurry and put it into wriying! stuff skool it doesnt matter(oh wait yes it does) well wat ever great chapter i love jared! yay
talk to u soon love bee
5/2/2009 c4 Gracie
I LOVE THE STORY!
I like the conversation between Jayden and Riley, I like his character where he's a bit arrogant but really confident.
Jared was also well-written, like his character was shown through the conversation. The conversation and his character wasn't different if you get what I mean.
You are my fav writer!
Update quickly! (no need to say I'll be reading pretty quickly *laughs)
Gracie
I LOVE THE STORY!
I like the conversation between Jayden and Riley, I like his character where he's a bit arrogant but really confident.
Jared was also well-written, like his character was shown through the conversation. The conversation and his character wasn't different if you get what I mean.
You are my fav writer!
Update quickly! (no need to say I'll be reading pretty quickly *laughs)
Gracie
4/30/2009 c4 loriaG
wow! im actualli taken aback form this chapter/
firstly, i love the scenes wif Jared just gets betta
'she spoke it was bluntly aimed at Todd. “Yeah, there was puddle of blood here and there around you. You know the usual.”' - that was memorable.
now that i think about it, through this chapter i realli lik how there's the three male characters that different, makes the story soo interesting.
your chapter was longer, sood keep that up coz this story getz better and i love detailed work! :)
especailly this chapter, i loved how your characters fit in their own environemnt plus the great description of Jared's house. can imagine My-self in that !
and Jayden's blue eyes, i liked the colour describin there, royal blue? habn't heard that one yet, it's always deep blue that other's descibe their characters in..
also found that bit wen jared and jayden on the fone sweet.
jayden asking abt riley~
addin on that part where you descibe both jayden and jared together, compare, the contrast between is evident but then seeing the picture how they can be close friends through that paragraph you wrote.
okaii, im sayin to much, pushin other people's comments downwards .
as always update soon :)
wow! im actualli taken aback form this chapter/
firstly, i love the scenes wif Jared just gets betta
'she spoke it was bluntly aimed at Todd. “Yeah, there was puddle of blood here and there around you. You know the usual.”' - that was memorable.
now that i think about it, through this chapter i realli lik how there's the three male characters that different, makes the story soo interesting.
your chapter was longer, sood keep that up coz this story getz better and i love detailed work! :)
especailly this chapter, i loved how your characters fit in their own environemnt plus the great description of Jared's house. can imagine My-self in that !
and Jayden's blue eyes, i liked the colour describin there, royal blue? habn't heard that one yet, it's always deep blue that other's descibe their characters in..
also found that bit wen jared and jayden on the fone sweet.
jayden asking abt riley~
addin on that part where you descibe both jayden and jared together, compare, the contrast between is evident but then seeing the picture how they can be close friends through that paragraph you wrote.
okaii, im sayin to much, pushin other people's comments downwards .
as always update soon :)
2/25/2009 c3 Zenia
You're not going to update are you? I give up.
-Bye
You're not going to update are you? I give up.
-Bye
2/15/2009 c3 Zenia
Update!
Update!
2/5/2009 c3 Zenia
Update!
Update!
1/31/2009 c3 Zenia
About time.
Read You Later
About time.
Read You Later
1/30/2009 c1 loriaG
finally i can review, i was wonderin wat was rong wif my computer X)
i am lovin Jared - his character
something you dont see (read) everyday
gives off this mysterious vibe``
finally i can review, i was wonderin wat was rong wif my computer X)
i am lovin Jared - his character
something you dont see (read) everyday
gives off this mysterious vibe``
1/27/2009 c3 3bumblee bee
yaya
u updated and its really long chapter double yaya
well keep updating it and post some of the other ones u wrote they where awsome..
love bee
? dose michelle boyfriend like Riley?
well cya soon
3bumblee beeyaya
u updated and its really long chapter double yaya
well keep updating it and post some of the other ones u wrote they where awsome..
love bee
? dose michelle boyfriend like Riley?
well cya soon