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for Black and White

5/7/2008 c2 15Zonne
The switching point of view, and going to first person threw me at first, but it worked.

You are amazing, again, in so few words you managed to create incredible suspense, a fabulous humorous twist, and a happy and sweet ending.

I don't know who these people are, how they are related or anything else, but I just absolutely loved this. You are very talented. Good job. Keep writing.
5/7/2008 c1 Zonne
I absolutely loved this story. I am reviewing both chapters, but I actually read to the already. Couldn't wait.

That probably says everything. I was completely on edge after reading the first chapter. In so few words, you had me completely tense. With just enough information, and even some extraneous (sp) info (like the color of the blinds and the toothbrush) you built incredible suspense.

Um, don't change a word.
3/19/2008 c1 59Tranquil Thorns
Haha, very cute! =P

I loved Alison's perspective especially. It's exactly what anyone would think if they were in that situation, and you conveyed her thoughts and reactions well.

For some strange reason it also appeals to me how you started off with such a simple task as tooth-brushing and built the story from there. What would have happened if she were somewhere else and didn't chance to look out the window?

Nicely done! This amused me.

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