for StReTCH4/8/2009 c1 
5RokitToMars
Wow, that was truly awesome.
I really like the ending, with the knife and the 20 minutes, 20 years thing.
Very good *applause*
5RokitToMarsWow, that was truly awesome.
I really like the ending, with the knife and the 20 minutes, 20 years thing.
Very good *applause*
7/23/2008 c6 Neo Anderson
Oh, deer god. I can’t see any reviews of chapter six. You guys didn’t pus out on me now did ya. It’s just getting good. Here, let me fix that, a review for chapter six for ya. Rest assured that if you finish it, and I hope you do, I shall be there to read it.
Yes yes, this is definitely going to be so vary vary sweet. I like your stories as it is. But I shall admit I’ve taken a particular liking to this one. Several of my favorite concepts, all rolled in to one. For god sakes write when you can. I can’t wait for the next chapter to come this way.
Oh, deer god. I can’t see any reviews of chapter six. You guys didn’t pus out on me now did ya. It’s just getting good. Here, let me fix that, a review for chapter six for ya. Rest assured that if you finish it, and I hope you do, I shall be there to read it.
Yes yes, this is definitely going to be so vary vary sweet. I like your stories as it is. But I shall admit I’ve taken a particular liking to this one. Several of my favorite concepts, all rolled in to one. For god sakes write when you can. I can’t wait for the next chapter to come this way.
5/5/2008 c1 Darket
I liked what I've seen so far. I'll have to get back to you on this one, I just called into work.
I liked what I've seen so far. I'll have to get back to you on this one, I just called into work.
3/25/2008 c1 11Distilledfx
Now this is weird. One of the few stories that I read and got sucked into (I can only think of one more on FP). The dialog is great and really keeps the story going. You have a really good knowledge of your characters and it shows, even characters that I imagine won't be so important have really strong personalities which are easy to see.
The plot itself is amazing. It's easy to understand, as your writing style uses a lot simpler words than others. Your descriptions are great and don't get in the way of the story, putting the images in my head but letting the focus remain on the actions.
The scene with Lorena, didn't seem to fit. I'm sure it will make sense eventually and the scene itself is well written.
Good stuff,
11DistilledfxNow this is weird. One of the few stories that I read and got sucked into (I can only think of one more on FP). The dialog is great and really keeps the story going. You have a really good knowledge of your characters and it shows, even characters that I imagine won't be so important have really strong personalities which are easy to see.
The plot itself is amazing. It's easy to understand, as your writing style uses a lot simpler words than others. Your descriptions are great and don't get in the way of the story, putting the images in my head but letting the focus remain on the actions.
The scene with Lorena, didn't seem to fit. I'm sure it will make sense eventually and the scene itself is well written.
Good stuff,
1/12/2008 c2 3Anna Finch
Wow. That's um... gorey. Not to say that I don't like it.
The beginning to the second chapter versus the end of the chapter were quite good. It's like you had two seperate cliff hangers. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the story, which I can only hope is coming soon.
3Anna FinchWow. That's um... gorey. Not to say that I don't like it.
The beginning to the second chapter versus the end of the chapter were quite good. It's like you had two seperate cliff hangers. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of the story, which I can only hope is coming soon.
11/15/2007 c1 2Function C
dude... awesome! i love this ! lol i think u're the only SEA fictionpress user who still writes .. no?
2Function Cdude... awesome! i love this ! lol i think u're the only SEA fictionpress user who still writes .. no?
11/6/2007 c2 dreamshell
Hmm... most definitely interested. I like the frenetic, slightly (I'm assuming) satirical style to it. One thing I would suggest, though, is to maybe reel in a few of uses of "agony". I count it about five times, plus an "anguish" or two.
Otherwise, no complaints. I'm very compelled. =D
-dreamshell-
Hmm... most definitely interested. I like the frenetic, slightly (I'm assuming) satirical style to it. One thing I would suggest, though, is to maybe reel in a few of uses of "agony". I count it about five times, plus an "anguish" or two.
Otherwise, no complaints. I'm very compelled. =D
-dreamshell-