for Core of a Trinity6/22/2008 c3 
6skitzogemini
To Syke:
For starters, this story was made a while back when I was still getting used to writing so I know there are a few things left to be desired in Core of a Trinity.
Tatyana was the first character I made that was delicate, not strong and a fighter like my readers are used to me making. She's beautiful and soft and innocent.
As for the whole school thing, I'm not sure what your rules are where you're at, but here, all children are required to register for school elementary through high school. And if you miss too many days, your parents can be fined. Not to mention child services can be called in. So Tatyana has to go to school so the cops don't get involved with why she isn't in.
Some children are able to retain vague memories from that far back, but if I had the rest of my story, you'd soon learn that she's more than human.
If you had the patience to wait until I could continue this story, you'd figure out why they're so drawn to her. Plus, haven't you read any books? Stories not written by kids and posted on sites? This kind of story would be labeled under "Paranormal/Romance".
6skitzogeminiTo Syke:
For starters, this story was made a while back when I was still getting used to writing so I know there are a few things left to be desired in Core of a Trinity.
Tatyana was the first character I made that was delicate, not strong and a fighter like my readers are used to me making. She's beautiful and soft and innocent.
As for the whole school thing, I'm not sure what your rules are where you're at, but here, all children are required to register for school elementary through high school. And if you miss too many days, your parents can be fined. Not to mention child services can be called in. So Tatyana has to go to school so the cops don't get involved with why she isn't in.
Some children are able to retain vague memories from that far back, but if I had the rest of my story, you'd soon learn that she's more than human.
If you had the patience to wait until I could continue this story, you'd figure out why they're so drawn to her. Plus, haven't you read any books? Stories not written by kids and posted on sites? This kind of story would be labeled under "Paranormal/Romance".
6/21/2008 c3 Syke
For such a brilliant writer this story is fairly fail.
Don't get me wrong, your stories are amazing. The plots are interesting and the style of writing makes people want to read more.
So, why is the main character such a Mary Sue? She has 'the type of body a goddess would kill for' and why is she even attending school? Huh? Why wouldn't her abusive family keep her home all day instead of letting her go to school where she wouldn't be there to serve them and wouldn't be able to tell on them? Also, why would they tell her anything of her past? She was two when she was adopted so, how does she know any of it?
Also, the three guys she's with all seem to be falling for her even though they picked her up off the street a few days ago. Seriously, come on.
For such a brilliant writer this story is fairly fail.
Don't get me wrong, your stories are amazing. The plots are interesting and the style of writing makes people want to read more.
So, why is the main character such a Mary Sue? She has 'the type of body a goddess would kill for' and why is she even attending school? Huh? Why wouldn't her abusive family keep her home all day instead of letting her go to school where she wouldn't be there to serve them and wouldn't be able to tell on them? Also, why would they tell her anything of her past? She was two when she was adopted so, how does she know any of it?
Also, the three guys she's with all seem to be falling for her even though they picked her up off the street a few days ago. Seriously, come on.
12/1/2007 c4 Mysticknoll
Brilliant, you NEED to update, and soon, I am SO loving this story!
Brilliant, you NEED to update, and soon, I am SO loving this story!
11/15/2007 c1 1MysticKnoll
Oh, I love this story, and I can't wait for you to update. It's brilliant, truly.
1MysticKnollOh, I love this story, and I can't wait for you to update. It's brilliant, truly.