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5/16/2010 c26 2jlr
I have to say that this is one of the best stories I've read on this site in a long time. You write incredibly well and have a deep understanding of characters. I liked the way that you approached them, and their wealth, and their school and their interactions with each other. I still have a million questions about Tyler, but that's okay, because even thought this was his story as much as Noel's, even when you're in a perfect relationship, you still end up with questions about the other person.

There were a few mistakes, some that stuck with me because I read it all in one sitting. You call them the Durtons a few times at the beginning of the chapter with his grandfather's party.

The character of Kendall is slightly inconsistent, either she is clueless and she really is friends with both Noel and Emily or she needs to not form that kind of friendship that is shown when they are out shopping together. If she is clueless, I'd like to see a little more about her and Noah at the end. It's okay for her to want to be with the popular people, but I don't think she's a bad person, and she has no reason to back-stab Noel the way that Emily does, so I really can't see her becoming friends with Noel and then betraying her. I'm not sure if I'm making perfect sense, but I do think you should take another look at Kendall's character.

I found that the way you dealt with wealth was refreshingly fresh. Writing about people with money is a lot of not talking about the money they have. The only time I felt that it was a little excessive was referring to their apartments as penthouses every time. Perhaps it is different in Australia, but I think most people would just call it an apartment, after it was introduced as a penthouse.

Please take my ideas in the spirit in which they are meant, to help improve an already excellent story. ~jlr
5/15/2010 c26 8Written
I was like, I want to read something fun and romantic to take my mind of studying! and then my eye fell on your story... and then a good five hours later I reemerged, totally in love with your writing.

it's like, 6 in the morning and I've stayed up ALL NIGHT reading, btw.

okay I'm sure I won't say everything I want to say just bc I'm so sleepy right now, but here are my major thoughts:

1. her frienemy relationship with emily. oh. my. god. i have a friend I met in my later high school years, and we've been close throughout uni and stuff. but like, my relationship with her is about as unhealthy as the one you've detailed in this story. it was nice seeing that dealt with realistically and with sensitivity. I loved the near redemption of emily at the end. no one in real life is a total villain, and you made that point subtly. very very lovely.

2. the family issues/drama was dealt with really nicely. the pacing was perfect. a lot of times you don't see romance stories deal with life outside of the love interest, so I was really very pleased to see such detailed family lives going on. Our main character's mother issues were well done, and the male lead had some realistic family issues too. I was totally digging the realism here and it definitely added to your story.

3. Your story dealt with rich kids, but it wasn't annoying like most of the rich kid stories I've read. They sounded like real people instead of bubble heads bragging about their gucci bags, which was... a relief. hahaha.

4. You are so so so funny. Holy crap. So many random scenes made me laugh. I'm so so sorry that I didn't review every chapter and tell you each part that I absolutely LOVED, but I was selfish and wanted to get to the end of this story by tonight, so yeah :) SORRY. But rest assured, you are hilarious. your characters all have amazing chemistry. I want to be friends with them!

5. Speaking of chemistry, tyler and noel! holy wow. They are awesome together. Tyler was seriously infuriating sometimes but I loved the development of their relationship. It was slow and sweet and totally worth it, and there were moments of heartbreak where I literally felt pain. intense, girl. I'm so glad I read this once it was complete. I cant imagine putting myself through all those emotions without having the end available to read and reassure myself that everything would be okay!

6. I imagined everyone speaking in American accents even though the story is obviously set in Australia, so every time I remembered that, I would try to alter their accents in my head to match their geography. This resulted in me spending WAY too much time trying to remember different australians I know and how they pronounce different words... haha.

i freaking love you.
5/13/2010 c8 phUNCOholic XD
DAYM! ur writin's AWESOME! i pissd myself laughin wen readin Dillon's quotes...dis guy BELONGS in da 18th century! Teehee! Nyways...its good finally read a good ol' aussie fic wif skool hrs, holidays n subjects i can relate to! GOOD WORK XD
5/12/2010 c26 ansonozaki
I love this so much becuase every chapter makes me feel happy and excited! hope it doesn't end! thanks for this wonderful story! love lots! ^_^
5/7/2010 c26 6productofdreams
Oh my God. Why isn't your fic one of those 10+ review fics that people around this site gush about as if they discovered it first? This is incredible. YOu're an awesome writer and a talented storyteller. The characters are realistic - likeable and hateable (is that a word?) at the same time. Your humor is so strange I was several times startled into laughter. Tyler's kind of a schmuck but he's a hot schmuck so that's all that counts. I love this story, I love your writing, and I look forward to reading more of your works.
5/3/2010 c26 2ForeverInfinity
I really loved reading this! Tyler's dialogue is so... awesome! If only there were a guy like him and talked like him... I fell in love with this story, really.

-ForeverInfinity
5/2/2010 c26 ghurl00
Awesome story!:DD Love it!:DD
4/29/2010 c26 2Our Heartfelt Lies
Well that was short and sweet. She's so spontaneously excitable, it's adorable. Okay, so I'm going to try and cover quickly all the things that make this story entirely fantastic and hope I get all my thoughts in the proper order (although I doubt it, I tend to be a bit scattered about such ordeals).

Like I mentioned before, I actually loved the pacing. Don't let anyone talk you down or make you think that you should change it. It made the entire story very real and breath-catching, the moments that moved things along really, really moved things along and the ones that transitioned just made everything about the characters and their stories wonderful. I loved Emily and Noel's rivalry/disintegrating friendship. It was so honest and there were sides to both of them so that nothing was two-dimensional. When you got to Emily's letter, her point is really very easy to understand, and it's so clear that Noel's no innocent bystander in the entire conflict.

I love Noel's character. It's so rounded and entirely, utterly un-perfect but still devastatingly lovable that you can't help but appreciate her struggles, revel in her triumphs, and sympathize for her pains. She's never too easy on Tyler and he's never too quick with trusting her, their relationship is just right and sticks with painstaking precision to their characters. It's beautiful (and I think I may be using that word too much throughout this whole thing, but it's really just wonderful).

I love all the side-characters. Their humor. The comedic relief. I would like to point out that, at least to me, there was something left unaddressed between Chas and Noel. Like some sort of point Noel missed but perhaps a crush Chas was nursing? I really thought that might come into play at some point but, on the other hand, their friendship seems really well rounded out without that and his character was a wonderful addition to the entire ordeal.

I don't think there was a part of this story that I didn't like, actually, and that's not something I say often. I really, really cannot figure out how this story is so underrated. But I suppose sometimes FictionPress works that way. In any case, I never discovered the story before the revision, but to whatever changes you made then I wholly approve. I thought it was all very well sketched and executed. Kudos.

I would love to see you launch another multi-chaptered work in the future. And now I'm adding this story to my favorites list. Thank you for writing it, it totally turned a shitty day for me completely around. You have no idea.
4/29/2010 c25 Our Heartfelt Lies
For the moment I'm just going to say that this makes me cry. And ending chapters and such rarely do that to me, but I suppose it's all mixed in with the fact that the whole graduating and "unknown" aspect of the chapter is very relatable to my life right now. It's also mixed in with the fact that Tyler and Noel's chemistry is practically un-chartable, it's so explosive. I love everything about their relationship from the beginning to the end, to bits and pieces. It's taken over my head and my heart in the hours that I've spent reading this and I'm just in love with the two of them. Now I'm going to read the epilogue and come back to say what exactly it was that I liked about the story as a whole that I may not have commented on before.
4/29/2010 c17 Our Heartfelt Lies
I thought this chapter was beautifully engaging (where they go to the homeless shelter, in the case that you probably don't remember by number anymore. I know that I never do). It kind of had a sickeningly melancholy feel to it that seeps into you and makes you wish the world were a different place. I could understand both Tyler's and Noel's frustrations with everything perfectly. It was very subtly desperate, you could feel the tension building, the need to actually do something overtaking everything else until it strangled everything but self-preservation from the two of them.

I love this story because their motives are always so precise. The pace and the timing of each action is perfectly placed. Nothing is ever rushed. Not developing relationships or the revenge scheme or even the set-up hypothetical relationship between Tyler and Noel. Where a lot of writers would have erred on the pacing, you have maintained an appropriate persistence of patience. I love it.
4/29/2010 c12 Our Heartfelt Lies
Well that fight was intense and confusing. Both of those. Very fraught with emotions, I'm staring kind of bug-eyed. But in a good way.

On a lighter note, I laughed aloud again at this point: George processes this. "Your excess use of the word 'kapow' offends me," he says snootily.

So there's always that.
4/29/2010 c7 Our Heartfelt Lies
Tyler is just a riot and a half. I love every single thing he says. So dry, so humorous, so witty. I love him. The end.
4/29/2010 c5 Our Heartfelt Lies
I love your chapter titles. And high school conspiracies (bets, planning, manipulation, etc) are my favorite stories. Especially if they're done well and yours seems to be. Anyway, I'm going back to reading now and you can refer to all of my other praise as still holding true thus far
4/29/2010 c3 Our Heartfelt Lies
At the point where Tyler said "Talking to you is so demeaning," I actually laughed out loud. I love al the characters, all their chemistry, and the lovely way you flow and transition from one part to another. I love Noel's name, too, I hadn't mentioned that before. And her narration is just so delightful. I'm in a constant state of amusement while reading this.
4/29/2010 c2 Our Heartfelt Lies
I don't know why I haven't come across this before. Or why it doesn't have more reviews, but your writing is excellent (at least what I've gathered from the first chapter and prologue) and the main character in this story is both grabbing and entertaining. I love her voice. My favorite parts of this chapter were where she actually decided to "brave" the train instead of deal with Dillon (in most stories that definitely wouldn't have happened) and where she and Emily really do fight. Very entertaining. Adding that to the fluidity of the writing and the subtle humor of every scene, I've really enjoyed myself thus far.
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