for Mystery In My Lens11/21/2007 c1 maverix
sounds really interesting.
it'd be awesome if you continued with it
p.s. the fray is a bad ass band ;P
sounds really interesting.
it'd be awesome if you continued with it
p.s. the fray is a bad ass band ;P
11/21/2007 c1 
35Frau Welt
Hey!
Your summery sounded interesting, so I'm here to read and give you a review!
A few errors;
It seemed like he stalked were ever I went.
It should have been 'wherever', not 'were ever'.
A guy, no older then me, with sexy, shaggy blonde hair and a smile that could melt hearts, his ocean blue eyes always had a flicker of mistift in them.
There is no such word as 'mistift'!
When I walk through the city I could feel him watching, staring at me but when I turned around to meet his gaze it seemed like he rippled, vanished into the distance.
Your sentence is rather long, but apart from that, you'd need to be a bit more careful of your tenses...
Good story other than those few errors! Keep it up. Interested to know what else you've got in store!
35Frau WeltHey!
Your summery sounded interesting, so I'm here to read and give you a review!
A few errors;
It seemed like he stalked were ever I went.
It should have been 'wherever', not 'were ever'.
A guy, no older then me, with sexy, shaggy blonde hair and a smile that could melt hearts, his ocean blue eyes always had a flicker of mistift in them.
There is no such word as 'mistift'!
When I walk through the city I could feel him watching, staring at me but when I turned around to meet his gaze it seemed like he rippled, vanished into the distance.
Your sentence is rather long, but apart from that, you'd need to be a bit more careful of your tenses...
Good story other than those few errors! Keep it up. Interested to know what else you've got in store!