for Oak8/29/2017 c1 Steve Anderson
Dear Kate;
This is touching and describes exactly how I feel.
Love etc,
S.A.
Dear Kate;
This is touching and describes exactly how I feel.
Love etc,
S.A.
11/30/2007 c1 
12AmethystAsphyxiaion
okay frankly, HELLO creepsville! that just gave me major goosebumps and images of glassy-eyed people dead on the inside.
i don't know if the frailty you bring up really belongs there.. because unless you're talking about frailness (real word?) of mind, it doesnt fit in with the sturdy image of the oak.
so. very morbid.
liking the idea of the earth being the source of the disease and likening it to a body with the use of 'skin'. original sin? we're born with the disease? or rather, we get it from the very place we came from?
i think it's a very strong poem with strong ideas and images in the end, however the beginning could be dealt with a little in my opinion. when i read it i find myself focussing very much on the middle/end and forgetting the beginning lines because they seem like an introduction. so my only suggestion to making this better than it already is, is to do that and complete the entire poem's strength.
loving it though.
dont mean to pick at it, you know i only do it because it's got my total attention :P
9.5 funeral roses out of a possible 10. not on the 5 scale because this poem's got a lot more depth to it then the other 2.
12AmethystAsphyxiaionokay frankly, HELLO creepsville! that just gave me major goosebumps and images of glassy-eyed people dead on the inside.
i don't know if the frailty you bring up really belongs there.. because unless you're talking about frailness (real word?) of mind, it doesnt fit in with the sturdy image of the oak.
so. very morbid.
liking the idea of the earth being the source of the disease and likening it to a body with the use of 'skin'. original sin? we're born with the disease? or rather, we get it from the very place we came from?
i think it's a very strong poem with strong ideas and images in the end, however the beginning could be dealt with a little in my opinion. when i read it i find myself focussing very much on the middle/end and forgetting the beginning lines because they seem like an introduction. so my only suggestion to making this better than it already is, is to do that and complete the entire poem's strength.
loving it though.
dont mean to pick at it, you know i only do it because it's got my total attention :P
9.5 funeral roses out of a possible 10. not on the 5 scale because this poem's got a lot more depth to it then the other 2.