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for I Don't Hate You, Mom

6/14/2008 c1 15Zonne
I love this. I love everything about it. I wouldn't change a word.

The bold, the Woman, Food, Now

the I have claws. Don't make me use them.

CLASSIC and incredibly funny, bright, and sad. Wow.

I am required to be specific here...

I love the way you switch between mom and teen. The emotions of both, one then the other, was brilliant.

I think the bits in bold are fantastic comic relief, however, they did seem a bit confusing.

WRITE MORE! You have such great style.

THe review marathon

link in my profile

Zonne
4/6/2008 c1 6Chalk
Oh, i absolutely loved it. it was poignant and true and powerful and humurous too (Woman, food, now :P...classical!)

definetely one of my favourties...
3/7/2008 c1 Brimo
really sweet:) i think a lot of people have these same sort of thoughts. the dogs thoughts added in made it funny.
3/6/2008 c1 20Twilight Starr
Good piece. Nice work. Have an excellent day.

~Twilight Starr~
12/13/2007 c1 7Translucently Opaque
Sad, but unfortunately true for many people. Poignant and eloquently put. It was unclear at first who was talking when at first, but I figured it out when the dog was mentioned. The way used normal, italicized, and bold text was very effective, and the dogs thoughts added some humor to the otherwise melancholy narrative. There were just a few grammatical errors.

There should be a start of a new paragraph when the mother says ““I remember when…” after the daughter says “If I didn’t do what she said the first time…”

“It’s not that she’s not pretty…” Might have worked better if structured “It’s not that she isn’t pretty…” This may just be a matter of opinion, though.

"...but I refrain myself from reading it." The word 'myself' is unnecessary.

Other than those minor points, congratulations on another interesting read!

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