for Frozen Wasteland3/26/2008 c1 
2KhefriSun
Gosh, I really like you work so far(I'm making it my goal this evening to read all of them.)
2KhefriSunGosh, I really like you work so far(I'm making it my goal this evening to read all of them.)
3/26/2008 c1 9Fyxthamnzwik
I like this one, which is a bonus because I'm not a big fan of free verse.
some things you might want to correct:
Don’t answer her call as "you" soul faults and falls
should be "your"?
I would drop "the" before lost souls in line 3
change dead to the dead or death in line 4
capitalize Winter and make it Winter's in line 5 to further emphasize your personification of it.
"The frozen wonderland of broken backs and dreams
Whisper softly"
if the frozen wonderland is doing the whispering, which seems to be the case, you should say "Whispers" for S-V agreement.
I was a fan of yours back when you were under a different pen-name. I've been negligent with posting lately, but I've recently added a few things you might enjoy.
9FyxthamnzwikI like this one, which is a bonus because I'm not a big fan of free verse.
some things you might want to correct:
Don’t answer her call as "you" soul faults and falls
should be "your"?
I would drop "the" before lost souls in line 3
change dead to the dead or death in line 4
capitalize Winter and make it Winter's in line 5 to further emphasize your personification of it.
"The frozen wonderland of broken backs and dreams
Whisper softly"
if the frozen wonderland is doing the whispering, which seems to be the case, you should say "Whispers" for S-V agreement.
I was a fan of yours back when you were under a different pen-name. I've been negligent with posting lately, but I've recently added a few things you might enjoy.
3/21/2008 c1 7Rooster Skull
Another beautiful poem! I love all your works so much! Keep it up, alright? For all your fans (and I'm sure you have some).
"Dance, dance into the frost/Don’t answer her call as you soul faults and falls"
Again, another wonderful line. It's so beautiful, and so... majestic, almost.
~~ AmarokUchiha ~~
7Rooster SkullAnother beautiful poem! I love all your works so much! Keep it up, alright? For all your fans (and I'm sure you have some).
"Dance, dance into the frost/Don’t answer her call as you soul faults and falls"
Again, another wonderful line. It's so beautiful, and so... majestic, almost.
~~ AmarokUchiha ~~
2/23/2008 c1 28surrealphobia
Oh wow!
I hvaen't been on here in forever. You're still writing! Once again this is all amazing work and I can't wait until you publish more. This has such a wintery theme to it, I guess it's hard for me to relate because it never gets down past 80 here, but still the imagery is marvelous!
Happy writing,
Surreal
28surrealphobiaOh wow!
I hvaen't been on here in forever. You're still writing! Once again this is all amazing work and I can't wait until you publish more. This has such a wintery theme to it, I guess it's hard for me to relate because it never gets down past 80 here, but still the imagery is marvelous!
Happy writing,
Surreal
1/30/2008 c1 Robot20405090
Oh my dear goodness. "bites your nose" I found to be quite humourous. Though the rest of the poem had a serious tone... So maybe that wasn't supposed to be funny. Frostbite hurts.
Is she evil or just a force of nature?
Oh my dear goodness. "bites your nose" I found to be quite humourous. Though the rest of the poem had a serious tone... So maybe that wasn't supposed to be funny. Frostbite hurts.
Is she evil or just a force of nature?
1/11/2008 c1 81thursdays and rain
dreamy.. by the way, thanks for adding me on your fave authors' list ;)
81thursdays and raindreamy.. by the way, thanks for adding me on your fave authors' list ;)