for Waiting In The Shadows6/11/2008 c3 eternita
This story is awesome. I can't wait to read more. Please update soon.
This story is awesome. I can't wait to read more. Please update soon.
3/8/2008 c3 Aeristella
P.S.S-
Just so you are aware, there were some name errors going on, which confused me at first. i.e., Caely & Samson.
P.S.S-
Just so you are aware, there were some name errors going on, which confused me at first. i.e., Caely & Samson.
3/8/2008 c1 Aeristella
I have a new favorites! :D
Beautiful darling! I really love this story, I can't wait to read on.
-Aeris
(P.S. You switched from character p.o.v with ease. Very good.)
I have a new favorites! :D
Beautiful darling! I really love this story, I can't wait to read on.
-Aeris
(P.S. You switched from character p.o.v with ease. Very good.)
1/28/2008 c3 scenerocker
I love this story..seriously..amazing..i loev the idea...u have to update soon...I love it.
I love this story..seriously..amazing..i loev the idea...u have to update soon...I love it.
1/13/2008 c3 
2Daniels lover
Your story is really lovely, I love the plot and your characters.I can't wait for you to update.
2Daniels loverYour story is really lovely, I love the plot and your characters.I can't wait for you to update.
1/10/2008 c3 1Katherine-the-greate
great chapter. I can't wait for your next update. thanks for posting
1Katherine-the-greategreat chapter. I can't wait for your next update. thanks for posting
1/9/2008 c1 yv
sounds gd.. except i think kaylee should be younger. most 13 year olds i know don't act like that...
sounds gd.. except i think kaylee should be younger. most 13 year olds i know don't act like that...
1/8/2008 c3 anon
the dude is a jerk one second, then he is all nicey-nice, this is a classic sign of an unhealthy relationship, also I notices a sort of slipping of tenses, when they speak some word have "ed" and others "ing" in a manner that confuses me slightly, it gives a sort of distration that throws off the flow a little, also noticed that there is a tendency to sometimes mention the dude's feelings when he speaks (i.e. for a moment wishing to kiss her), although the conversation seems mostly to be seen from the chick's point of view...anyway, I like the story :) entertaining. ~anon (who despite all evidence to the contrary, will always believe that penguins can fly)
the dude is a jerk one second, then he is all nicey-nice, this is a classic sign of an unhealthy relationship, also I notices a sort of slipping of tenses, when they speak some word have "ed" and others "ing" in a manner that confuses me slightly, it gives a sort of distration that throws off the flow a little, also noticed that there is a tendency to sometimes mention the dude's feelings when he speaks (i.e. for a moment wishing to kiss her), although the conversation seems mostly to be seen from the chick's point of view...anyway, I like the story :) entertaining. ~anon (who despite all evidence to the contrary, will always believe that penguins can fly)
1/8/2008 c2 anon
Man, this dude is such a jerk, all he did was give her direction to her own house, and now he is like, totally stalking her. There is a lesson here, never start talking to a random stranger when you should be looking for your poor lost kitty. This dude is like so... 18th century. This chick needs some advice from Dr. Phill.
Man, this dude is such a jerk, all he did was give her direction to her own house, and now he is like, totally stalking her. There is a lesson here, never start talking to a random stranger when you should be looking for your poor lost kitty. This dude is like so... 18th century. This chick needs some advice from Dr. Phill.
1/8/2008 c1 anon
Finally the new story commeth. And... I must comment, this girl seems pretty stupid for a thirteen year old, seriously, ya might want to consider making the age a little younger, of perhap adding some specic reasons that justify her behavior, unless she's just stupid, which is okay too, and the burning question on the mind of all readers (i.e. me) did she ever find the kitty? is there a lonely kitty wandering the streets somewhere? oh...the terrible suspense... ~anon (who is too lazy to use proper sentence structure)
Finally the new story commeth. And... I must comment, this girl seems pretty stupid for a thirteen year old, seriously, ya might want to consider making the age a little younger, of perhap adding some specic reasons that justify her behavior, unless she's just stupid, which is okay too, and the burning question on the mind of all readers (i.e. me) did she ever find the kitty? is there a lonely kitty wandering the streets somewhere? oh...the terrible suspense... ~anon (who is too lazy to use proper sentence structure)
1/8/2008 c3 21Faith Adeline
This was a good chapter, but you messed up twice on names. Once you called him Samson and her Caely, which just ruined the flow for a second. Keep it up and update soon.
Faith
21Faith AdelineThis was a good chapter, but you messed up twice on names. Once you called him Samson and her Caely, which just ruined the flow for a second. Keep it up and update soon.
Faith
1/8/2008 c2 crazymonkeychick
Hello!
So, I'm gonna be mean before I seem nice. When I read this, I assumed Kaylee was maybe six or seven, not thirteen. Maybe it's where I live vs. where you live, but she's a bit too naive and innocent and immature; if I was thirteen I definitely wouldn't let some stranger come and pick me up, and I'd be not nearly as afraid to knock on someone's door to ask for directions or anything.
Other than that age thing, though, this is pretty excellent. I mean, I'd just bring her age down to six and then it works really well! Good job!
Hello!
So, I'm gonna be mean before I seem nice. When I read this, I assumed Kaylee was maybe six or seven, not thirteen. Maybe it's where I live vs. where you live, but she's a bit too naive and innocent and immature; if I was thirteen I definitely wouldn't let some stranger come and pick me up, and I'd be not nearly as afraid to knock on someone's door to ask for directions or anything.
Other than that age thing, though, this is pretty excellent. I mean, I'd just bring her age down to six and then it works really well! Good job!