4/28/2008 c4 2FERRERO ROCHER
Hello. New reviewer.Actually, I read your story quite some time ago,and didn't review.Laziness.Well, I just wanted to say that your story was okay when I first read it, but now...Utterly,completely confusing.I am going to be very honest with you.The fact that in chapter 3 I think , you give us some insignificant precisions doesn't practically change anything at all.
I advise you to reread your chapters, correct all of your errors and grammatical mistakes(they're important to our comprehension), and to write each time Saph's POV etc.Now, do you see what I mean?If you have new ideas just don't hesitate about writing them, because what's life without a bit of risk(okay, corny...).Also improve the sumary, it's essential.
Your story does have a good potential,and I hope you'll do what I said.
Toodles, Ferrero Rocher
Hello. New reviewer.Actually, I read your story quite some time ago,and didn't review.Laziness.Well, I just wanted to say that your story was okay when I first read it, but now...Utterly,completely confusing.I am going to be very honest with you.The fact that in chapter 3 I think , you give us some insignificant precisions doesn't practically change anything at all.
I advise you to reread your chapters, correct all of your errors and grammatical mistakes(they're important to our comprehension), and to write each time Saph's POV etc.Now, do you see what I mean?If you have new ideas just don't hesitate about writing them, because what's life without a bit of risk(okay, corny...).Also improve the sumary, it's essential.
Your story does have a good potential,and I hope you'll do what I said.
Toodles, Ferrero Rocher
4/26/2008 c4 6darling81
I really like how you introduce each chapter with a song. I think that is a nice touch. To help clarify who is narrating, you could put the person's name at the start of each of their section. Also when you have the time try to re-read what you have written because there is some grammar/spelling/sentence structure things you should look into. -darling81
I really like how you introduce each chapter with a song. I think that is a nice touch. To help clarify who is narrating, you could put the person's name at the start of each of their section. Also when you have the time try to re-read what you have written because there is some grammar/spelling/sentence structure things you should look into. -darling81
12/28/2007 c2 MidnightThief15
I guess that's where the title comes from. So Sapphire's gonna be the main character I guess. I noticed how Sapphire and Diamond are both jewels. Good chapter and story so far. Can't wait to read the next one. Oh, and you HAVE to make a love interest for Sapphire! XD
I guess that's where the title comes from. So Sapphire's gonna be the main character I guess. I noticed how Sapphire and Diamond are both jewels. Good chapter and story so far. Can't wait to read the next one. Oh, and you HAVE to make a love interest for Sapphire! XD
12/28/2007 c3 23Hypa To Hell And Back
thank you for this im not confused now ohew im glad that over thanks for tha\t keep going and sorry your grounded
thank you for this im not confused now ohew im glad that over thanks for tha\t keep going and sorry your grounded
12/28/2007 c2 Hypa To Hell And Back
ahh im confused but i guess that will all become clear in chaoters to come very good keep going i love it
ahh im confused but i guess that will all become clear in chaoters to come very good keep going i love it
12/27/2007 c1 Hypa To Hell And Back
first of all is this sentance mean to be like this...On that note I put on my headphones put my headphones on and continued to my locker...or not.i was just wondering
besides that little thing i found it very good i like ip keep going will you please
first of all is this sentance mean to be like this...On that note I put on my headphones put my headphones on and continued to my locker...or not.i was just wondering
besides that little thing i found it very good i like ip keep going will you please
12/27/2007 c1 24Serenity Takaishi
what if you don't get five?
then what? i don't get to read the rest 3=
well, i was a little confused, but i think its off to a good start! haha i don't like all the labels tho 3= but it's still okay good job
what if you don't get five?
then what? i don't get to read the rest 3=
well, i was a little confused, but i think its off to a good start! haha i don't like all the labels tho 3= but it's still okay good job