for To Cliché or Not To Cliché3/5/2008 c8 
23Hypa To Hell And Back
dont we just love this more and more heehee it reminds me of some thing that i wrote hehe please keep going for me ok i love love love it
23Hypa To Hell And Backdont we just love this more and more heehee it reminds me of some thing that i wrote hehe please keep going for me ok i love love love it
3/2/2008 c7 Hypa To Hell And Back
i like it. i love ryan hehee if he was real id have him any day hehe yeah thats just me but i love it please keep going ok
i like it. i love ryan hehee if he was real id have him any day hehe yeah thats just me but i love it please keep going ok
2/19/2008 c6 7Riley Hunter
Z'OMG! another good chapter that was an excellent excuse to get out of doing math and science hw. TY! anyways. update when you can ;)
7Riley HunterZ'OMG! another good chapter that was an excellent excuse to get out of doing math and science hw. TY! anyways. update when you can ;)
1/15/2008 c5 Anon. lady1
Glad to se you are typing these out so fast. But too fast, I think, because you forgot to put in a few connector words, like "E EQUALS mc squared." and "said Murphy was A whore..." This one also feels kinda rushed, because I think you just want to write and get things done and posted. In so many of the other chapters, you spend so much detail describing a scene. Like the fake blonde, I don't know what her outfit looks like. "Her skirt was rolled like that." What does THAT look like? This scene can be as short as it is, and I like that she experiences three "situations" in one scene, but where's the detail that makes me hate the girls Murphy hates, and loath the gossip that Murphy hears about herself?
Keep up the good work and do you believe ZR loves EW? Like totally gross and all that. :-p
Glad to se you are typing these out so fast. But too fast, I think, because you forgot to put in a few connector words, like "E EQUALS mc squared." and "said Murphy was A whore..." This one also feels kinda rushed, because I think you just want to write and get things done and posted. In so many of the other chapters, you spend so much detail describing a scene. Like the fake blonde, I don't know what her outfit looks like. "Her skirt was rolled like that." What does THAT look like? This scene can be as short as it is, and I like that she experiences three "situations" in one scene, but where's the detail that makes me hate the girls Murphy hates, and loath the gossip that Murphy hears about herself?
Keep up the good work and do you believe ZR loves EW? Like totally gross and all that. :-p
1/12/2008 c5 7Riley Hunter
nice chappie! It seemed like a filler, but we always have to do those eventually. I can't wait for the next chappie! please update soon
7Riley Hunternice chappie! It seemed like a filler, but we always have to do those eventually. I can't wait for the next chappie! please update soon
1/12/2008 c3 23Hypa To Hell And Back
so far so good i really like all of it i cant really figure out yet who im disliking like murphies friend or some one in the family
there isnt really any thingwrong with it... actually i count find any thing wrong with it. it was perfect.
23Hypa To Hell And Backso far so good i really like all of it i cant really figure out yet who im disliking like murphies friend or some one in the family
there isnt really any thingwrong with it... actually i count find any thing wrong with it. it was perfect.
1/10/2008 c4 Anon. lady number 1
Good story and I'm glad to see that you added another chapter to the story. I'm concerned about a few grammar things, like the capitolization contiunity with the word "Aunt" at the beginning. And you can take out the one "had" in the Mopsy comment. I don't think you need it. Also, the "outcast by" thing, try putting "considered an outcast by", that will sound less akward.
So, if Murphy is going to get wasted in the bar, maybe you should mention something about a fake ID. After her and Aunt Susan leave the Bean, mabye insert a brief scene where they go home to change and Aunt Susan gives Murphy a Fake ID and says something like, "We're not going to that club again, I thought we'd go somewhere with guys my age. wink wink."
Keep up the good work. Laughing Out Loud!
p.s. i think jared is SO hawt. he is like the epitome of hot. if u loo under tha dictionary u'll find his picture.
p.p.s. zach gray is cool
p.p.p.s. edward cullen must die. LOL
Good story and I'm glad to see that you added another chapter to the story. I'm concerned about a few grammar things, like the capitolization contiunity with the word "Aunt" at the beginning. And you can take out the one "had" in the Mopsy comment. I don't think you need it. Also, the "outcast by" thing, try putting "considered an outcast by", that will sound less akward.
So, if Murphy is going to get wasted in the bar, maybe you should mention something about a fake ID. After her and Aunt Susan leave the Bean, mabye insert a brief scene where they go home to change and Aunt Susan gives Murphy a Fake ID and says something like, "We're not going to that club again, I thought we'd go somewhere with guys my age. wink wink."
Keep up the good work. Laughing Out Loud!
p.s. i think jared is SO hawt. he is like the epitome of hot. if u loo under tha dictionary u'll find his picture.
p.p.s. zach gray is cool
p.p.p.s. edward cullen must die. LOL