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for Joker's Victory

3/17/2008 c1 10J.K.Ellis
I love your writing, and I really hope you continue this or at least write another story. You're one of the few authors who don't write about high school proms or fantasy or extreme drama. Such subtlety as yours is rare and enjoyable.
1/10/2008 c1 psipop
I know this is kind of drafty (missing words here and there, no big deal) but i already love it. So many details. The sensory things, and the little details about the parents that kind of characterize them (the makeup, the couch, the family photo, etc.). They're tiny things but they stand for much bigger ideas. You say huge things about the characters in very few words.

The namesake part is great, but i wonder how she broke the headphones, since I've slept with headphones on before. Was there head-slamming force involved in addition to the weight? Ordinarily i don't think it'd matter, but this is a namesake. If I'm being a retard and headphones are breakable by weight alone, ignore.

Is this the beginning? I think it would work as a beginning, even if you're going non-linear. I think the piece is as of now too short to talk about structure and plot and stuff, but the style is great. Nothing is said that doesn't need to be said. I think.

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