for In the Rain: Lies7/24/2008 c4 
3Topaz36
Hi notageekfreak!
I've recently came back on fictionpress and realized you updated this story so I read the chapter. I actually kind of loved it just because the "angel" was such a fun character to read about and how Jane handles him. It was funny and I even caught myself laughing out loud while reading.
I was also amused when I read about the twelve cookies and how she basically thought he's goofy smile was from his klutziness. LOL
Anywho, I hope you continue this story. So update!:D :D :D
~Topaz36
PS Thanks again for all the reviews you did for my story. If you have any free time and if you're interested, feel free to look at my latest project on fictionpress. :D
3Topaz36Hi notageekfreak!
I've recently came back on fictionpress and realized you updated this story so I read the chapter. I actually kind of loved it just because the "angel" was such a fun character to read about and how Jane handles him. It was funny and I even caught myself laughing out loud while reading.
I was also amused when I read about the twelve cookies and how she basically thought he's goofy smile was from his klutziness. LOL
Anywho, I hope you continue this story. So update!:D :D :D
~Topaz36
PS Thanks again for all the reviews you did for my story. If you have any free time and if you're interested, feel free to look at my latest project on fictionpress. :D
2/2/2008 c3 centenarian
Great story. I like Jane (she's a punkass) but i want to know more and you can help me there by updating as soon as you can. So please...update! Love your story. :)
Great story. I like Jane (she's a punkass) but i want to know more and you can help me there by updating as soon as you can. So please...update! Love your story. :)
2/2/2008 c3 Topaz36
I just updated my story and looked at the new stories in romance section, and I stumbled upon your story.
So far, it looks good. I like the voice of Jane. She seems kind of like a firecracker (who keeps her comments to herself). I like how the reader knows what her opinions are.
Now, time for my critiquing: the only thing that distracted me while reading was sometime during this chapter, Violet calls Jane Jen. Is that a nickname Violet has for her? I was not sure.
Other then that, good good.
~Topaz36
I just updated my story and looked at the new stories in romance section, and I stumbled upon your story.
So far, it looks good. I like the voice of Jane. She seems kind of like a firecracker (who keeps her comments to herself). I like how the reader knows what her opinions are.
Now, time for my critiquing: the only thing that distracted me while reading was sometime during this chapter, Violet calls Jane Jen. Is that a nickname Violet has for her? I was not sure.
Other then that, good good.
~Topaz36
1/10/2008 c1 31Lurid Black
I'd like you to continue, you've discribed things well enough to give the reader a clear view of how everything would seem.
Well written, carefully chosen words, I don't see any dramatic improvements needed. Keep writing!
~Lurid~
31Lurid BlackI'd like you to continue, you've discribed things well enough to give the reader a clear view of how everything would seem.
Well written, carefully chosen words, I don't see any dramatic improvements needed. Keep writing!
~Lurid~