for CursePlagued1/29/2008 c1 SnackySnackSnackSnackSnack
Wow. I want to give you constructive criticism and encouragement like you gave me buut all I can really say is wow. =P Ooh, I should do this with my haiku. Thanks for the idea.
Wow. I want to give you constructive criticism and encouragement like you gave me buut all I can really say is wow. =P Ooh, I should do this with my haiku. Thanks for the idea.
1/19/2008 c1 
88Chidori Nadare
The haikus are good on its own and together. It flowed smoothly. I like the dark and grungy undertones of it. I love this part:
'Animosity
And malice drove her insane
Manipulation'
Gorgeous word choice here. Well written haikus.
-C.N
88Chidori NadareThe haikus are good on its own and together. It flowed smoothly. I like the dark and grungy undertones of it. I love this part:
'Animosity
And malice drove her insane
Manipulation'
Gorgeous word choice here. Well written haikus.
-C.N
1/17/2008 c1 20I.O.K.O
No need for dark undertones. No need for concreteness. A truly straightforward, abstract piece. You should make this into a novel of some sort.
20I.O.K.ONo need for dark undertones. No need for concreteness. A truly straightforward, abstract piece. You should make this into a novel of some sort.
1/15/2008 c1 Zach P
Great poem
Really liked the way it flowed.
Favorite lines were definately:
A spark in dead eyes
…
Her thoughts shift crimson
Like the wake of a demon
Duress of her mind
Great poem
Really liked the way it flowed.
Favorite lines were definately:
A spark in dead eyes
…
Her thoughts shift crimson
Like the wake of a demon
Duress of her mind
1/14/2008 c1 33Dextera
You have an intriguing style in your haikus: descriptive, yet blunt. It leaves a very powerful connection. Keep up the good work and thanks for the review. ;)
33DexteraYou have an intriguing style in your haikus: descriptive, yet blunt. It leaves a very powerful connection. Keep up the good work and thanks for the review. ;)
1/14/2008 c1 Counting Petals
You did a beautiful job in your word choice. The whole series was very powerful. Keep it up!
You did a beautiful job in your word choice. The whole series was very powerful. Keep it up!
1/14/2008 c1 43lookin4nemo
Very very well written! It is poetic and just amazing! ALL the lines are my favorite! IT is so good..indescribable (i sux at spelling but oh well) Keep it up as i no u will!
~lookin4nemo~
43lookin4nemoVery very well written! It is poetic and just amazing! ALL the lines are my favorite! IT is so good..indescribable (i sux at spelling but oh well) Keep it up as i no u will!
~lookin4nemo~
1/13/2008 c1 alwaysthereforyou
These are really well written my favorite one is:
A thirst for terror
Would dance in scorn and disdain
A spark in dead eyes
My only suggestion would be to center your writing because then this poem with actually look like and eye, and I think that would be awesome. Keep up the good work, I really like it a lot.
These are really well written my favorite one is:
A thirst for terror
Would dance in scorn and disdain
A spark in dead eyes
My only suggestion would be to center your writing because then this poem with actually look like and eye, and I think that would be awesome. Keep up the good work, I really like it a lot.
1/13/2008 c1 233siphoned afterglow
Very good choice of words. I like this piece. It was to me about a close friend slipping to another skin, like becoming a stranger. GReat work!
and thanks for the review on my work!
233siphoned afterglowVery good choice of words. I like this piece. It was to me about a close friend slipping to another skin, like becoming a stranger. GReat work!
and thanks for the review on my work!
1/12/2008 c1 879Moondog Dozier
Marvelous sound for a haiku series. I like the way this both has distinct individual haiku's that combine for a greater meaning when read all the way through. Well written. Very audible.
879Moondog DozierMarvelous sound for a haiku series. I like the way this both has distinct individual haiku's that combine for a greater meaning when read all the way through. Well written. Very audible.
1/12/2008 c1 7EddisThief
To me, these poems are years of pining over a long lost friend that just keeps slipping under...Well done
7EddisThiefTo me, these poems are years of pining over a long lost friend that just keeps slipping under...Well done
1/12/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
powerful imagery and beautiful piece... I love the line "her thoughts shift crimson"
612simpleplan13powerful imagery and beautiful piece... I love the line "her thoughts shift crimson"
1/11/2008 c1 495mate.feed.kill.repeat
Another interesting one, unlike any other I have seen. I liked how you formatted it as a string and the spacing made it seem brutal and choppy (definitely a good thing). I think there could have been one more at the end. Keep writing; these are awesome.
-stix-
495mate.feed.kill.repeatAnother interesting one, unlike any other I have seen. I liked how you formatted it as a string and the spacing made it seem brutal and choppy (definitely a good thing). I think there could have been one more at the end. Keep writing; these are awesome.
-stix-