for It All Started With A Crash2/3/2009 c19 g.na
AW... they're getting married! and on top of that, carter and gracie are getting all sweet!
absolutely LOVE it!
AW... they're getting married! and on top of that, carter and gracie are getting all sweet!
absolutely LOVE it!
2/3/2009 c13 g.na
EK! they're TOGETHER!
OMFG! you haven no idea how much i LOVE this story! ah! i love it so so so so much! i can't even express it in this review! lol
love it so much!
EK! they're TOGETHER!
OMFG! you haven no idea how much i LOVE this story! ah! i love it so so so so much! i can't even express it in this review! lol
love it so much!
11/29/2008 c29 anonymous
You should do a follow up with Mia & it's 'tank top' not 'tang top'
You should do a follow up with Mia & it's 'tank top' not 'tang top'
10/15/2008 c3 Elle Winters 9
MAJOR GRAMMAR ISSUES.
They're their and there. Please learn to differentiate them.
Oh and why don't any of the others defend her? Especially her brother and the other guys?
Other than that though, good going so far! =)
MAJOR GRAMMAR ISSUES.
They're their and there. Please learn to differentiate them.
Oh and why don't any of the others defend her? Especially her brother and the other guys?
Other than that though, good going so far! =)
10/14/2008 c30 cheekymonkey2772
DAMN! kk first of all, cute ending. Second y did you make carter come off and being a big JERK!. It just makes me hate him and how they end up together. And also you never mention if the Nicole (the person carter slept with) baby was his. Jimmy is so sweet, aw damn.
DAMN! kk first of all, cute ending. Second y did you make carter come off and being a big JERK!. It just makes me hate him and how they end up together. And also you never mention if the Nicole (the person carter slept with) baby was his. Jimmy is so sweet, aw damn.
10/5/2008 c30 
2iNKFiSHY
It was good. I read it over the last two or so days, and it was pretty good.
Just some hints:
It would probably be worth your while to edit it. Or have someone else do it for you, if you really hate editing. Because there were a couple of times where the spelling or grammar mistakes were really distracting and made it hard to understand. I find the easiest way to edit and not miss mistakes is to read it out loud. When you read it out loud you actually read what the words are as opposed to what you know they should be. And sometimes when you're unsure of the spelling of a word, using the dictionary can clear up alot of confusion. And if you don't want to do that, sometimes you can even just ask someone, chances are they'll know how to spell it.
You also had a problem with consistency. It probably wouldn't have been noticable if I hadn't read it all at once, but, for example, in one of the first chapters Gracie was reasonably close with her parents. Like, when she was in trouble she called her 'daddy' to bail her out and her 'poor ma' had to cook for eleven people, which suggests that she's there to do the cooking everynight because Gracie wasn't expecting to have to do it. I got the impression that they were close, well, as close as a seventeen year old and her parents could be. Then a few chapters later she was going on about how they were never there and so on. And the overprotectiveness of her brother varied randomly. Like Carter joked about screwing her and he slapped him over the head and got all protective, but when Carter walked in on her naked, when he clearly could have just turned the music off himself, and Aiden just goes "meh, it's cool man" etc.
Sometimes the story moved to fast. One minute Carter was all "Lets go to the park with our daughter" etc the next he's cheating and expecting a child and he leaves then comes back then leaves then Jimmy comes along and then Carter comes back and suddenly she loves him again. I just got a little lost at times, that's all.
And now finally on to the positives! I love positives! I really liked the progression of character. I don't know if you meant to do it, but you really showed Gracie maturing really really well. Like in the begining I found her really annoying and felt like telling her she wasn't as cool as she thought she was etc but towards the end I was on her side and feeling bad for her and understanding her etc.
I liked the unpredictability of it. I never knew what was going to happen next, so I had to keep reading to find out.
Kudos for the ending as well. It was fantastically done.
Its the only story of yours I've read, but hopefully I'll find time to read the others. Keep writing, you've got some really good ideas, if this story is anything to go by.
2iNKFiSHYIt was good. I read it over the last two or so days, and it was pretty good.
Just some hints:
It would probably be worth your while to edit it. Or have someone else do it for you, if you really hate editing. Because there were a couple of times where the spelling or grammar mistakes were really distracting and made it hard to understand. I find the easiest way to edit and not miss mistakes is to read it out loud. When you read it out loud you actually read what the words are as opposed to what you know they should be. And sometimes when you're unsure of the spelling of a word, using the dictionary can clear up alot of confusion. And if you don't want to do that, sometimes you can even just ask someone, chances are they'll know how to spell it.
You also had a problem with consistency. It probably wouldn't have been noticable if I hadn't read it all at once, but, for example, in one of the first chapters Gracie was reasonably close with her parents. Like, when she was in trouble she called her 'daddy' to bail her out and her 'poor ma' had to cook for eleven people, which suggests that she's there to do the cooking everynight because Gracie wasn't expecting to have to do it. I got the impression that they were close, well, as close as a seventeen year old and her parents could be. Then a few chapters later she was going on about how they were never there and so on. And the overprotectiveness of her brother varied randomly. Like Carter joked about screwing her and he slapped him over the head and got all protective, but when Carter walked in on her naked, when he clearly could have just turned the music off himself, and Aiden just goes "meh, it's cool man" etc.
Sometimes the story moved to fast. One minute Carter was all "Lets go to the park with our daughter" etc the next he's cheating and expecting a child and he leaves then comes back then leaves then Jimmy comes along and then Carter comes back and suddenly she loves him again. I just got a little lost at times, that's all.
And now finally on to the positives! I love positives! I really liked the progression of character. I don't know if you meant to do it, but you really showed Gracie maturing really really well. Like in the begining I found her really annoying and felt like telling her she wasn't as cool as she thought she was etc but towards the end I was on her side and feeling bad for her and understanding her etc.
I liked the unpredictability of it. I never knew what was going to happen next, so I had to keep reading to find out.
Kudos for the ending as well. It was fantastically done.
Its the only story of yours I've read, but hopefully I'll find time to read the others. Keep writing, you've got some really good ideas, if this story is anything to go by.
9/27/2008 c30 anonymous
you should make a one two or a story about what happened to Mia and the guy.
But that's just a suggestion.
☆
you should make a one two or a story about what happened to Mia and the guy.
But that's just a suggestion.
☆
9/19/2008 c30 Sahara
The ending was so perfect! :)
It was my favorite part! I also loved when Mia said "Word Mama" with the peace sign! WAY CUTE!
Nice story!
The ending was so perfect! :)
It was my favorite part! I also loved when Mia said "Word Mama" with the peace sign! WAY CUTE!
Nice story!
9/16/2008 c30 ayesha
luved absolutly luuved the ending!
luved absolutly luuved the ending!
9/7/2008 c30 Casey
cute ending but im kinda sad about it coz i guess i jst really dont like Carter after all he did...oh well!
cute ending but im kinda sad about it coz i guess i jst really dont like Carter after all he did...oh well!