
1/16/2008 c1
29Leaves of Labefaction
I like the perspective, the story told from the point of view of a bystander. I really like the descriptions in the first paragraph, it gives you a clear image. Good story.

I like the perspective, the story told from the point of view of a bystander. I really like the descriptions in the first paragraph, it gives you a clear image. Good story.
1/16/2008 c1
24Thaddeus Halstead
Wow. Perfect introduction paragraph - it really got me into it. And the ending was even more perfect. I loved how the "dull grey object" was "a little less dull and a little less grey." That's way better than saying "the knife was covered in blood."
I would dearly have wished to read more. Perhaps why the man had to kill her. Who he was. Who the woman was. But I digress.
That was amazing. Pity it was short.

Wow. Perfect introduction paragraph - it really got me into it. And the ending was even more perfect. I loved how the "dull grey object" was "a little less dull and a little less grey." That's way better than saying "the knife was covered in blood."
I would dearly have wished to read more. Perhaps why the man had to kill her. Who he was. Who the woman was. But I digress.
That was amazing. Pity it was short.