for Three Weeks1/27/2008 c1 
3Kyrina
hey this is good! and i think the title is fine! tho if you wanna change it ive got a suggestion: flirting for idiot's (tho not really seriously but i did think he was a little too subtle lol)
3Kyrinahey this is good! and i think the title is fine! tho if you wanna change it ive got a suggestion: flirting for idiot's (tho not really seriously but i did think he was a little too subtle lol)
1/22/2008 c1 9Pixel0025
Aw, that was cute. I liked it. It seemed rather flowy, and it was so short that I actually followed it. It was like a whole entire story in one little chapter... well. It was. But anyway, I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing it. :D
9Pixel0025Aw, that was cute. I liked it. It seemed rather flowy, and it was so short that I actually followed it. It was like a whole entire story in one little chapter... well. It was. But anyway, I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing it. :D
1/20/2008 c1 6beccabrighteyes
Its good, but you might want to break it up with some spaces. Its a little hard to read otherwise.
6beccabrighteyesIts good, but you might want to break it up with some spaces. Its a little hard to read otherwise.
1/18/2008 c1 dimethylmercury
Overall... I thought the basic plot was okay... but the pace was slightly fast. Also, I thought the ex-girlfriend part was a little out of place and didn't really fit in too well. I think you can lengthen each day to make it into a multi-chaptered story, which would help to make the piece more interesting. There were a few misspellings(quiet=quite/loose=lose/“Bitch,” he hissed(.) Somewhat shocked(,) I felt my face warm up again. ), but I think it's not too bad, and can be fixed easily.
Hope this wasn't too offensive? Just my thoughts on the story..
Overall... I thought the basic plot was okay... but the pace was slightly fast. Also, I thought the ex-girlfriend part was a little out of place and didn't really fit in too well. I think you can lengthen each day to make it into a multi-chaptered story, which would help to make the piece more interesting. There were a few misspellings(quiet=quite/loose=lose/“Bitch,” he hissed(.) Somewhat shocked(,) I felt my face warm up again. ), but I think it's not too bad, and can be fixed easily.
Hope this wasn't too offensive? Just my thoughts on the story..
1/18/2008 c1 TropicalBurst
0.0
!
Me luvs it
0.0
!
Me luvs it
1/18/2008 c1 8Willowindrain
Nice summary but the title is unoriginal . After scrolling down the whole passage I noticed ... What happened to double spacing ? If this was on paper it might be easy on the eye but on screen it just makes lots of readers click the back button which is probably why a horde of people came but didn't leave anything substaintional cause they can't bother with such an eye-sore . You must understand that there are some people in the world that spent some time on the computer and after seeing such long passages without a little blank here and there it gets quite tiring. Which brings me to my second correction of your story :
when I forgot that he was an idiot, he actually looked quiet
~It's 'quite' not 'quiet'.
by being over exited that I avoided detention
~Excited
All in all , it was a basic story with not that much flair . I'm very sorry if I offend you in any way but I noticed that you didn't get any constructive feedback for this piece. My adive to you is to put an original twist somewhere cause it's very bland , instill the love of paragraphing (but not every sentence) and write more . Dakara, hope to see more from you soon.
8WillowindrainNice summary but the title is unoriginal . After scrolling down the whole passage I noticed ... What happened to double spacing ? If this was on paper it might be easy on the eye but on screen it just makes lots of readers click the back button which is probably why a horde of people came but didn't leave anything substaintional cause they can't bother with such an eye-sore . You must understand that there are some people in the world that spent some time on the computer and after seeing such long passages without a little blank here and there it gets quite tiring. Which brings me to my second correction of your story :
when I forgot that he was an idiot, he actually looked quiet
~It's 'quite' not 'quiet'.
by being over exited that I avoided detention
~Excited
All in all , it was a basic story with not that much flair . I'm very sorry if I offend you in any way but I noticed that you didn't get any constructive feedback for this piece. My adive to you is to put an original twist somewhere cause it's very bland , instill the love of paragraphing (but not every sentence) and write more . Dakara, hope to see more from you soon.
1/17/2008 c1 Hannah
Fix the horrible formatting and I'll come back to read.
Fix the horrible formatting and I'll come back to read.