for I Love Arrogance12/22/2014 c42 PencilsCameras
I love this story. I think, with its unique plotline and all, you could really get it published. It's not like most high school romances, which I like, even if I love the cliches. So yeah. That's all.
I love this story. I think, with its unique plotline and all, you could really get it published. It's not like most high school romances, which I like, even if I love the cliches. So yeah. That's all.
5/25/2014 c4 TheDeadlyEscape
First of all, you MIT not even be on FP anymore, but I will say this anyway. I try to always leave reviews, no matter what. I love the concept of your story, especially the way to summary says it. Still, I can't get into the way you write.
Sometimes I'm tthe same with other books, Under The Dome by Stephen King for example, and I can't get in the . . . Groove I guess you could call it.
I personally think it's weird how Chad would suddenly like Leah out of nowhere if she's a 'loser'.
Then the way it's worded with Xavier, it makes her seem like a pretty girl instead of a weirdo loser.
That's just my opinion. To each their own and I' picky in everything including the books I choose.
Anyways, I still wish you the best of luck in writing! :-)
First of all, you MIT not even be on FP anymore, but I will say this anyway. I try to always leave reviews, no matter what. I love the concept of your story, especially the way to summary says it. Still, I can't get into the way you write.
Sometimes I'm tthe same with other books, Under The Dome by Stephen King for example, and I can't get in the . . . Groove I guess you could call it.
I personally think it's weird how Chad would suddenly like Leah out of nowhere if she's a 'loser'.
Then the way it's worded with Xavier, it makes her seem like a pretty girl instead of a weirdo loser.
That's just my opinion. To each their own and I' picky in everything including the books I choose.
Anyways, I still wish you the best of luck in writing! :-)
10/12/2013 c1 pinky
Great story
Great story
7/9/2013 c42 Aspired Writer
Damn, this story was absolutely amazing. Like, I read this all in one sitting and I couldn't stop. I love James, Leah, Olivia and even Ryder. One my favourites, hands down. I can't believe how many times I've come across this story and never thought to give it a chance. Big mistake on my part, that's for sure. Thanks for sharing such. xD
Damn, this story was absolutely amazing. Like, I read this all in one sitting and I couldn't stop. I love James, Leah, Olivia and even Ryder. One my favourites, hands down. I can't believe how many times I've come across this story and never thought to give it a chance. Big mistake on my part, that's for sure. Thanks for sharing such. xD
7/9/2013 c25 Aspired Writer
Haha, oh my god, I loved Kim Possible! I used to watch everyday after I got home from school lol. Anyways, I'm loving this story and now I'm going onto the next chapter. xD
Haha, oh my god, I loved Kim Possible! I used to watch everyday after I got home from school lol. Anyways, I'm loving this story and now I'm going onto the next chapter. xD
7/8/2013 c20 Aspired Writer
Ugh, Gary is such an a**. I just want her with James, so badly. As for her father, he needs to just disappear and never come back. How could someone do that to their own daughter?
Ugh, Gary is such an a**. I just want her with James, so badly. As for her father, he needs to just disappear and never come back. How could someone do that to their own daughter?
2/21/2013 c42 
3anonymousxx
LOVED IT! Too tired to keep writing cuz I've been reading this none stop... NAP TIME!
3anonymousxxLOVED IT! Too tired to keep writing cuz I've been reading this none stop... NAP TIME!
8/4/2012 c42 MEG0205
Love it! Couldn't stop reading! I thought the name James used in his reservation in the last chapter was clever. Lol. Amazing!
Megan :)
Love it! Couldn't stop reading! I thought the name James used in his reservation in the last chapter was clever. Lol. Amazing!
Megan :)
1/29/2012 c32 Samantha
Listen kandy, I'm sorry to say that I can't read anymore. Your plot is very unique, I never saw the arranged marriage coming and I loved it. However this story could benefit from a proof read. Your grammar is pretty good except you tend to change between past and present tense sometimes. Which is totally understandable, I find myself doing this frequently as well. Another thing that would really improve from a proof read would be consistency. I noticed a few of your important facts dont line up, like how you said that James and Hal had never met, but if they did then James's dad could get in big trouble, however James and Hal have met. That time when They decided to ditch school and he took her home. Also the time frames seems a little off. First you said it was November, then you said it was still October. I really have enjoyed your writing, however the anomalies in it become apparent when reading it straight through. I think if you took the time to edit it, you'd have an even more popular story. I'll keep checking back to see if you did, 'cause then I'd deffinatly love to read this over:) hope you don't take my constructive criticism in a bad light, I only mean to promote and encourage your obviously good writing skills.
Listen kandy, I'm sorry to say that I can't read anymore. Your plot is very unique, I never saw the arranged marriage coming and I loved it. However this story could benefit from a proof read. Your grammar is pretty good except you tend to change between past and present tense sometimes. Which is totally understandable, I find myself doing this frequently as well. Another thing that would really improve from a proof read would be consistency. I noticed a few of your important facts dont line up, like how you said that James and Hal had never met, but if they did then James's dad could get in big trouble, however James and Hal have met. That time when They decided to ditch school and he took her home. Also the time frames seems a little off. First you said it was November, then you said it was still October. I really have enjoyed your writing, however the anomalies in it become apparent when reading it straight through. I think if you took the time to edit it, you'd have an even more popular story. I'll keep checking back to see if you did, 'cause then I'd deffinatly love to read this over:) hope you don't take my constructive criticism in a bad light, I only mean to promote and encourage your obviously good writing skills.