for Green Eyeliner5/5/2008 c1 half-sketched.staccatos
konnichi wa
Wow, this was from such an interesting point of view. I could be wrong, but it sounded (from the last stanza) as if it were from someone dead and watching?
To be honest I didn't very much like the third stanza. I don't evne know why, so that's really not very helpful. It just... the rest of the poem had this almost mysterious quality to it, but the third just said everything straight out, I guess. I can't explain - sorry.
Those first two stanzas, especially the first, were excellent. I loved them.
Ha det
-Shan-
konnichi wa
Wow, this was from such an interesting point of view. I could be wrong, but it sounded (from the last stanza) as if it were from someone dead and watching?
To be honest I didn't very much like the third stanza. I don't evne know why, so that's really not very helpful. It just... the rest of the poem had this almost mysterious quality to it, but the third just said everything straight out, I guess. I can't explain - sorry.
Those first two stanzas, especially the first, were excellent. I loved them.
Ha det
-Shan-
1/27/2008 c1 
31Red Tears Black Wings
Hey,
Aww that's sad but beautiful. I love that song, even though it makes me so mad.
31Red Tears Black WingsHey,
Aww that's sad but beautiful. I love that song, even though it makes me so mad.
1/27/2008 c1 194yodel a blue streak
I like this...the relationship between the two characters is interesting.
194yodel a blue streakI like this...the relationship between the two characters is interesting.