Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Only You Sparkle

1/11/2009 c1 5Fugitive-From-The-Future
This poem is was beautiful! I really liked the line "Creativity was born under the stars that shined" because it shows a good use of personification that fits in well. I also liked how you stuctured the sentances as it adds variety and allows it to flow more. I don't understand how you have used "Love was lost" yet at the end of the poem you have said how you have fallen into love. It confused me because of this. It was an amazing poem though, you are really good at writing, keep it up :)
3/9/2008 c1 123454321
Congrats on rhyming without it sounding like a fairy tale or nursery rhyme. It actually took me until the end of the piece to realize the rhymes.

The third line ends in 'eyes' as does the eighth; this bothers me. It seems redundant becuase the third line doesn't rhyme with anything.

-J.A.

Courtesy of the review marathon (link on profile).
2/18/2008 c1 49Fading Memories
I never told you how much I loved this, have I? I read it quite a few times since you posted it here, and I love the honesty behind those words. "Love was lost and trust was gained". God knows I've used that sentence on msn for like a week, cause it's amazing and so true in so many ways... well, just know that your writing rocks!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service