
6/19/2008 c1 criti-sized
What I like about this poem is the lighthearted feeling that's in it. Though there are a few lines that don't gel together as smoothly as the beginnings ones, it's still nice.
[When Summer changes to Fall, life does cling
When Fall changes to Winter, snow doth the sky bring] These two lines are the ones that stod out a lot more.
But overall, awesome poem.
C.S.
What I like about this poem is the lighthearted feeling that's in it. Though there are a few lines that don't gel together as smoothly as the beginnings ones, it's still nice.
[When Summer changes to Fall, life does cling
When Fall changes to Winter, snow doth the sky bring] These two lines are the ones that stod out a lot more.
But overall, awesome poem.
C.S.
1/31/2008 c1
59Tranquil Thorns
This is pretty nice. =)
I like the overall concept. It's nice and short, and the line 'Oh what fun the seasons bring' is a cute one.
I like when you say 'snow doth the sky bring', but 'life does cling' doesn't carry the same flow. It seems a bit choppy to have the word 'does' in there. Same with 'seasons do bring'.
Also, did you mean 'that's what changes' seasons bring? Hm. That last line confused me for a moment.

This is pretty nice. =)
I like the overall concept. It's nice and short, and the line 'Oh what fun the seasons bring' is a cute one.
I like when you say 'snow doth the sky bring', but 'life does cling' doesn't carry the same flow. It seems a bit choppy to have the word 'does' in there. Same with 'seasons do bring'.
Also, did you mean 'that's what changes' seasons bring? Hm. That last line confused me for a moment.