for That's So Cheesy7/18/2008 c1 
9ThePixess
It SO CUTE. Maybe a little cheesy in itself, but I'm cynical, so whatever. :) I love the bit at the beginning about the dandilieon (although, I must admit I did see the "a" in front of "weed" at first and was like :O for a second, lol). Absolutely adorable. *faves*
9ThePixessIt SO CUTE. Maybe a little cheesy in itself, but I'm cynical, so whatever. :) I love the bit at the beginning about the dandilieon (although, I must admit I did see the "a" in front of "weed" at first and was like :O for a second, lol). Absolutely adorable. *faves*
5/24/2008 c1 1Brett Carroway
This is cute! I really like the progressive cursing. Meanie, ass, dick, fuck.
1Brett CarrowayThis is cute! I really like the progressive cursing. Meanie, ass, dick, fuck.
4/3/2008 c1 9Lily Llynn
I love how anti-cliche she is. (: She doesn't go for the sappy, overdone stuff like most characters do. That's refreshing and awesome.
But I also love how it's cliche at the end, too, because I'll admit it - I love cliche. Plus this is awesomely written with a spifftastic plot and characters. I'm really glad artistic dreamer added this to our c2. (:
9Lily LlynnI love how anti-cliche she is. (: She doesn't go for the sappy, overdone stuff like most characters do. That's refreshing and awesome.
But I also love how it's cliche at the end, too, because I'll admit it - I love cliche. Plus this is awesomely written with a spifftastic plot and characters. I'm really glad artistic dreamer added this to our c2. (:
3/21/2008 c1 4Stylo
Aww! That was so adorable! :).
You know, you could make it longer. It's got the potential. But if you don't want to, you could still do a coupla things:
"He opened the door, took one look at the person in the doorway, and had to shove down a laugh. “Dude, you’re fucking yourself by bringing those.” The guy in the doorway glared at him. He held up his hands in self defense before wandering back into the apartment. “It’s for you,” he informed her blandly."
The paragraph is way too complicated for a reader to understand until he/she's finished the story. Dumb it down a bit? Finish the thing in quotes and then add something like how try as he might, he had to laugh. Too many "he"s there.
And near the ending, the grinning broadly is too abrupt. How about saying that at first her face was blank and then she grinned broadly or something along those lines?
And "At least not the first he, er, demanded it." didn't make sense :-S.
ANYhow, I loved the story. I think it's adorable and sweet and funny, and I completely agree; anyone who proposes to his girlfriend on V-Day should be shot, not just turned down.
[Btw: I read your ad for a Beta. Still need one?]
4StyloAww! That was so adorable! :).
You know, you could make it longer. It's got the potential. But if you don't want to, you could still do a coupla things:
"He opened the door, took one look at the person in the doorway, and had to shove down a laugh. “Dude, you’re fucking yourself by bringing those.” The guy in the doorway glared at him. He held up his hands in self defense before wandering back into the apartment. “It’s for you,” he informed her blandly."
The paragraph is way too complicated for a reader to understand until he/she's finished the story. Dumb it down a bit? Finish the thing in quotes and then add something like how try as he might, he had to laugh. Too many "he"s there.
And near the ending, the grinning broadly is too abrupt. How about saying that at first her face was blank and then she grinned broadly or something along those lines?
And "At least not the first he, er, demanded it." didn't make sense :-S.
ANYhow, I loved the story. I think it's adorable and sweet and funny, and I completely agree; anyone who proposes to his girlfriend on V-Day should be shot, not just turned down.
[Btw: I read your ad for a Beta. Still need one?]
2/25/2008 c1 4symphonik
Aw... so cute! I loved this oneshot, it told a lot about their friendship. The personalities were pretty well-thought out, especially the girl's. Anyway, fabulous story!
~The Kindergartener :D
4symphonikAw... so cute! I loved this oneshot, it told a lot about their friendship. The personalities were pretty well-thought out, especially the girl's. Anyway, fabulous story!
~The Kindergartener :D
2/24/2008 c1 2mia5081
Loved it! And I totally agree about the Valentine's proposal matter. It's been done so many times, that it's getting old...actually it's already moldy lol
Great job!
~Mia
2mia5081Loved it! And I totally agree about the Valentine's proposal matter. It's been done so many times, that it's getting old...actually it's already moldy lol
Great job!
~Mia
2/17/2008 c1 88multiples of six
Adorable! =)
I do feel sorry for the first kid, though.. giving someone a dandelion is actually really cute!
88multiples of sixAdorable! =)
I do feel sorry for the first kid, though.. giving someone a dandelion is actually really cute!
2/15/2008 c1 49Pinkamoo
Hehe, I love valentines day! More opportunities to do insane things.
Love the story, by the way :)
49PinkamooHehe, I love valentines day! More opportunities to do insane things.
Love the story, by the way :)
2/15/2008 c1 9milenaa
Hey there! I don't particularly enjoy Valentine's Day-themed stories, but this one-shot was different because it was consistent! I love how you get the female character to hate all the ''girly'' stuff from the very beggining and end the piece with the two getting together, but the girl still hates all the cheesy stuff. It was well-written and easy to read.
9milenaaHey there! I don't particularly enjoy Valentine's Day-themed stories, but this one-shot was different because it was consistent! I love how you get the female character to hate all the ''girly'' stuff from the very beggining and end the piece with the two getting together, but the girl still hates all the cheesy stuff. It was well-written and easy to read.
2/14/2008 c1 2artistic dreamer
ahahah, i love this story! it's so funny.
for me, i've always loved the cheesy cliche stuff just because they're so cute, but they wouldn't work on me, i want a guy who's creative about everything if you get what i mean. great story!
2artistic dreamerahahah, i love this story! it's so funny.
for me, i've always loved the cheesy cliche stuff just because they're so cute, but they wouldn't work on me, i want a guy who's creative about everything if you get what i mean. great story!
2/9/2008 c1 21so i sing to the stars
Oh. my. goodness.
I'm pretty much in love with this story. :D
Just everything about it, really. The progression of her boyfriends and their various present mishaps; the way you didn't have names, which made it...um...really cool; their personalities. And a bunch of other stuff that I'm unable to voice, so I hope you understand how cheesy and wonderful I thought this was. Is. I can never figure out if I should use past or present tense for that. xP
Anyway. Thanks so much for creating that warm and bubbly feeling in me.
21so i sing to the starsOh. my. goodness.
I'm pretty much in love with this story. :D
Just everything about it, really. The progression of her boyfriends and their various present mishaps; the way you didn't have names, which made it...um...really cool; their personalities. And a bunch of other stuff that I'm unable to voice, so I hope you understand how cheesy and wonderful I thought this was. Is. I can never figure out if I should use past or present tense for that. xP
Anyway. Thanks so much for creating that warm and bubbly feeling in me.