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for At Your Funeral

10/19/2009 c7 13blurrylights
Jude is like majorly bipolar. Seriously.

But I liked this chapter!Ruby is kind of stupid...and the fight scene last chapter was a bit unrealistic, now that I think about it.

It's really good so far though! Update soon!
10/5/2009 c6 natmarie
I love that you don't just put dialogue and drama in for the sake of it but every bit you add has a purpose whether to reveal something about the characters, advance the plot, provide realism etc. It's great. I'm intrigued by the introduction of Jude. Looking forward to finding more out about him and for Ruby's investigation of sorts to start.
9/16/2009 c1 15Sleepyf00l
great story!
9/16/2009 c5 natmarie
I know you probably didn't mean for it ito be, but the whole chapter is in bold. Just thought I would let you know. I like how you tied the tragedy back into every day life at school and such...for some reason I pictured Ruby older...but that is probably my imagination getting the better of me or I missed a crucial plot hint. High school works though. That article made me sick...dumb West guy. And girls...really can be such **iches. The plot thickens. Looking forward to reading more.
9/13/2009 c5 13blurrylights
What i don't understand is that it's the beginning of senior year, and the teacher is saying that her grades are barely passable. How is that possible? And also, how was she paying for half the rent/utilities when her brother was around? It doesn't seem like she has a job.
9/10/2009 c4 natmarie
I never read this the first time around so I can't reply to the changes but I think it was a very well written chapter. I like the bit about Ruby going home. All the feelings portrayed and somewhat protocall, if you could call it that, of such somber events. This hits a chord with me and makes me feel. I really connect with it. Thanks for writing such a touching piece.

Love to hear what you think of what I have up, if you get a chance. No pressure.
9/4/2009 c3 natmarie
This is nothing short of amazing. You really are talented. I stumbled on this by accident and boy am I glad I did. I can really identify with your characters and feel for them, expecially the narrator. Truely a unique idea and very well-written.

Happy writing,

from an old friend (circa 2005) with a new pen name :)
3/17/2008 c5 Carina
I'm confused...you said that Ruby had called her parents in the first or second chapter and now in this chapter you say they've died.
3/10/2008 c4 8idream
You need to update soon, mkay? Great plot - I like how you're building it up slowly, instead of much too quickly. You're doing this story justice!
3/10/2008 c3 idream
This is getting interesting. I like your style, a lot. :)
3/10/2008 c1 idream
Hmm, this seems interesting. :D I must say I'll keep reading.
2/20/2008 c2 1aethni
Very intriguing, I like the kind of dark tone it is setting, while not much of the plot has developed (how many decent stories reveal the entire story in its first two chapters? none, I would hope)yet, I can't wait for more =D

Update soon!
2/8/2008 c1 RunFree
Really good ...plz continue:)

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