for alone9/13/2010 c1 
145DarkShadow2012
i relate. alot actually. im the outcast and the lone wolf. im usually by myself most of the time so yeah, i feel ya on that. if only we could chill, then both of us wont be so alone :)
Anyways, nice poem. relatable.
-DarkShadow
145DarkShadow2012i relate. alot actually. im the outcast and the lone wolf. im usually by myself most of the time so yeah, i feel ya on that. if only we could chill, then both of us wont be so alone :)
Anyways, nice poem. relatable.
-DarkShadow
9/6/2010 c1 16Serendipitist Swan
The beginning really grabs you. The exclamation points at the end along with the bolding are a little distracting but it has the same effect either way.
-Swan
16Serendipitist SwanThe beginning really grabs you. The exclamation points at the end along with the bolding are a little distracting but it has the same effect either way.
-Swan
5/16/2010 c1 53Nick Ransom
I think the first two parts are great, the end just falls short for me though. It feels like you're trying too hard to say "LOOKATMEI'MANEMOKID!" and while that might be what you're doing, it takes away from the writing's seriousness.
53Nick RansomI think the first two parts are great, the end just falls short for me though. It feels like you're trying too hard to say "LOOKATMEI'MANEMOKID!" and while that might be what you're doing, it takes away from the writing's seriousness.
5/13/2010 c1 4InfinitePrincessx3
That's amazing & deep.
I really like it.
Don't feel alone! I can be your buddy :)
Check out my poem if you ever get the chance.
-InfinitePrincessx3
4InfinitePrincessx3That's amazing & deep.
I really like it.
Don't feel alone! I can be your buddy :)
Check out my poem if you ever get the chance.
-InfinitePrincessx3
2/29/2008 c1 233kelsi bones
This piece seems a little bit over dramatic. In the first section, the word "does" is misspelled each time. The exclamation marks and bold font at the end take away from the seriousness of the situation. The use of the words "chick" and "emo" do this as well.
This has a lot of potential. Look over it again, and see if you can find ways to improve it.
k.X
233kelsi bonesThis piece seems a little bit over dramatic. In the first section, the word "does" is misspelled each time. The exclamation marks and bold font at the end take away from the seriousness of the situation. The use of the words "chick" and "emo" do this as well.
This has a lot of potential. Look over it again, and see if you can find ways to improve it.
k.X
2/9/2008 c1 612simpleplan13
I like this... its very relateable... the ending I might get rid of all but one exclamation point... it makes it seem sorta informal... like slangy, but other than that the piece was really great
612simpleplan13I like this... its very relateable... the ending I might get rid of all but one exclamation point... it makes it seem sorta informal... like slangy, but other than that the piece was really great