for Storm's Witch7/18/2011 c10 Ricard Falos
I loved it hehe, storm and erin and damon and tori they were adorable. I love the sarcasm and the naughty innuendos, overall i say it was a good read though I do think you kind of went to far in too quick. Wasn't much relationship building but nonetheless I still loved it :) can't wait to read damons part
I loved it hehe, storm and erin and damon and tori they were adorable. I love the sarcasm and the naughty innuendos, overall i say it was a good read though I do think you kind of went to far in too quick. Wasn't much relationship building but nonetheless I still loved it :) can't wait to read damons part
10/11/2009 c10 
2DianaSweetie
I love ur story it's so ... Idk , but it's great I love it!
Storm is great I love him, he's so sweet and manly
At the same time.LOL! Erin is great to she's a sweetie.
Oh! I also LOVE Ven! He's a cutie pie. Hahahaha.
2DianaSweetieI love ur story it's so ... Idk , but it's great I love it!
Storm is great I love him, he's so sweet and manly
At the same time.LOL! Erin is great to she's a sweetie.
Oh! I also LOVE Ven! He's a cutie pie. Hahahaha.
7/29/2009 c10 3I'm-The-Weird-Girl
wow that really was as corny as hell
but i guess that's y i read it
XD
awesome story though!
3I'm-The-Weird-Girlwow that really was as corny as hell
but i guess that's y i read it
XD
awesome story though!
12/14/2008 c10 4Kimera77
Okay. A lot to say. First: plot. You should define more the climax and the plot in general. It kind of a whatever-happen-happens-story. Second: development. At first, it gives the impression the story is going to have a long development, and when it ends, the reader gets the feeling the story was rush, and didn't reach its full potential. Third: You could give a little more insight of the characters. Even if the do have a story, one doesn't feel completely connected. Plus, you should really warn when the POV's change. It's kind of confusing, and it takes out a lot of the story. I liked the story, but I feel it could be so much better with a good revision and more planing. But, anyway, Keep it up!
4Kimera77Okay. A lot to say. First: plot. You should define more the climax and the plot in general. It kind of a whatever-happen-happens-story. Second: development. At first, it gives the impression the story is going to have a long development, and when it ends, the reader gets the feeling the story was rush, and didn't reach its full potential. Third: You could give a little more insight of the characters. Even if the do have a story, one doesn't feel completely connected. Plus, you should really warn when the POV's change. It's kind of confusing, and it takes out a lot of the story. I liked the story, but I feel it could be so much better with a good revision and more planing. But, anyway, Keep it up!
9/22/2008 c1 sally scribe
ok.
i love your story
it's an amazing idea.
now...for my critisms...love the idea but it got confused whose pov you were talking in. i advice you to pick one, be netral with no pov at all, or write who's pov you are talking in.
your story is really good, this version should serve as a rough draft and template for further reference as you rewrite and make this story more real. be a writer. take that extra mile to describe. we love details!
sally
ok.
i love your story
it's an amazing idea.
now...for my critisms...love the idea but it got confused whose pov you were talking in. i advice you to pick one, be netral with no pov at all, or write who's pov you are talking in.
your story is really good, this version should serve as a rough draft and template for further reference as you rewrite and make this story more real. be a writer. take that extra mile to describe. we love details!
sally
9/9/2008 c10 Elodie Wolfe
two things
stake=steak or did he actually eat wood?
wow that sounds wrong
second
LOVED IT, loved the idea, I want Storm, or like when Ven grows up, and like you are AMAZING, new favorite author, and I only like five or six of my 16 favs so yah. Can't wait for more,
AND FINISH ALL YOUR OTHER STORIES! SO I CAN PRAOISE YOU!
Middi~
(do you have a myspace?)
two things
stake=steak or did he actually eat wood?
wow that sounds wrong
second
LOVED IT, loved the idea, I want Storm, or like when Ven grows up, and like you are AMAZING, new favorite author, and I only like five or six of my 16 favs so yah. Can't wait for more,
AND FINISH ALL YOUR OTHER STORIES! SO I CAN PRAOISE YOU!
Middi~
(do you have a myspace?)
7/3/2008 c10 BlossomTabz
it was corny but cute at the same time...loved it...may read the other one if i dont get to addicted to the sims...again:p
it was corny but cute at the same time...loved it...may read the other one if i dont get to addicted to the sims...again:p